Calling All Men

[00:00:00] Greetings in Jesus' name this morning. Song number 144 that we just sang says, Spirit and life are they, words thou dost speak. I hasten to obey, but I am weak. Thou art my only hope, thou art my life. Heeding thy holy word, I win the strife. The phrase that caught my attention there was, I hasten to obey, but I am weak. Um, I have the gift or the tendency to, when I study, when I prepare for a message, I am an evangelist. [00:00:46] That is one of my, that's my spiritual gift, and I tend to evangelize. I guess I don't want to apologize for that, but at the same time I want to say I am learning, I am trying to focus on speaking the truth in love, not using the word as a hammer, not being critical or negative. The last verse in the book of Jonah, I've been covering the book of Jonah, and God told Jonah, He said, [00:01:25] You were upset about this fig leaf, or the vine, the fig, the vine, the gourd, that died, and you were upset because that died. should not I spare Nineveh that has 120,000 we would say children 120,000 that don't know their right hand from their left and where that took me I guess I'm not really going to look at Jonah this morning but the idea of children and it just struck me [00:01:56] God was sparing this city that the adults were living in sin I don't want to say God didn't care about the adults When the adults repented, God turned away from the wicked he had planned for them. But it was the children that were on God's heart. And my message this morning, and I promise you, this had nothing to do with leading up to the meeting this week, the men's meeting. That is, in fact, I talked about maybe trying to present a different message because of the timing, but I am going to go ahead with it. [00:02:34] My message this morning is, I'm going to be speaking to the men, calling all men, a cry against mediocrity. And again, thinking of our purpose, our goal, what is my purpose for such a time as this, and fulfilling my purpose. What is my purpose and how do I fulfill it? I do plan on speaking to the men. I guess I just want it to be as a challenge, as a realizing we are all in this together. [00:03:11] We all, I suppose, have places we can improve. I do not have it all together. I do not have all the answers. At the same time, women, children, your man needs your support. Your dad needs your support. I'm not sure why I'm emotional, but when a man needs to make a decision in the home, [00:03:46] he needs his woman, his children, to rally around him and say, Dad, we trust you. We support you. You have our backing 100%. Sometimes he might be wrong. Sometimes he might be, you might not agree with what he has to say. And I'm not saying wrong as in leading you away from the Bible. I'm saying maybe he doesn't understand. Maybe you don't understand what he's saying, but he needs your support. The man is who God talks to in the Bible. When he talks to a household, he talks to the father, to the men. [00:04:21] The men are the leaders of the home. Here I go, herald on you. I'm going to ask some questions. Where are the men? We need men who will lead. Men who will stand up and be counted. Men who are not timid, not afraid of making a mistake or two. Men who will say, this is my house. I am going to do whatever it takes, pay any price, to influence my family for Jesus and teach them how to live holy lives. [00:04:56] When I say my house, I don't mean as in, this is mine, I'm going to do what I want. Mine as in something I'm responsible for. When your child has a bicycle laying in the yard, he's supposed to put the bicycle away. It's that child that is asked to go put the bicycle away. It's not his sister or something. You know what I'm saying? This is my house. I am going to be responsible to make sure my house is a house that is dedicated to following God. Men are created to be initiators, not reactors. [00:05:31] I would encourage any one of you to read Elizabeth Elliot's book, The Mark of a Man. She talks a lot in there about that. How far ahead are we looking in our children's lives? How often do I ask myself, what effect will this have on my children's thinking, their convictions? How determined are we that no matter what else happens, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord? I'd like to turn to Joshua 24, 14-27. [00:06:13] Joshua 24, 14-27 Now therefore, fear the Lord, and serve Him in sincerity and in truth. And put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt, and serve ye the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your father served that were in the other side of the flood [00:06:43] or the gods of the Amorites in whose land ye dwell but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord and the people answered and said God forbid that we should forsake the Lord to serve other gods for the Lord our God he it is that brought us up and our fathers out of the land of Egypt from the house of bondage and which did those great signs in our sight and preserved us in all the way wherein we went and among all the people through whom we passed. And the Lord drave out from before us all the people, even the Amorites, which dwelt in the land. [00:07:14] Therefore will we also serve the Lord, for he is our God. And Joshua said unto the people, Ye cannot serve the Lord, for he is an holy God. He is a jealous God. He will not forgive your transgressions nor your sins. If ye forsake the Lord and serve strange gods, then he will turn and do you hurt and consume you. After that he hath done you good. And the people said unto Joshua, Nay, but we will serve the Lord. And Joshua said unto the people, Ye are witnesses against yourselves that ye have chosen the Lord, have chosen you the Lord, to serve him. [00:07:51] And they said, We are witnesses. Now therefore put away, said he, the strains of God which are among you, and incline your heart unto the Lord God of Israel. And the people said unto Joshua, The Lord our God will we serve, and his voice will we obey. So Joshua made a covenant with the people that day, and set them in statute and in ordinance in Shechem. And Joshua wrote these words in the book of the law of God, and took a great stone and set it up there under an oak, that was by the sanctuary of the Lord. And Joshua said unto all the people, Behold, this stone shall be a witness unto us, for it hath heard all the words of the Lord which he spake unto us. [00:08:28] It shall be therefore a witness unto you, lest ye deny your God. The first thing we as men need to do to influence our families for Jesus is we need to have our own lives in order. We cannot tell our children, ask our wife, whatever, to do and behave and be godly if we are not doing that ourselves. Is God really number one in my life? [00:08:59] When Saul came back from destroying the Amalekites, 1 Samuel 15, 20-23, and Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Saul was supposed to destroy the Amalekites. He did not. He brought some of the nicest animals back. He brought the king back alive. And he explained to Samuel, well, I did obey the Lord. I only saved a few for sacrifice. And Samuel is saying, Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. [00:09:36] For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as an iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the Lord, he hath also rejected thee from being king. God didn't want their sacrifice, he wanted obedience. God says that if we aren't going to obey, he doesn't want us to try to associate with his name either. Ezekiel 20.39 As for you, O house of Israel, thus saith the Lord God, Go ye, serve ye every one his idols, and hereafter also, if ye will not hearken unto me, but pollute ye my holy name no more with your gifts and with your idols. [00:10:14] God, you get the sense that God was saying, okay, if you want to go serve idols, go do it. But don't come serving idols and come giving me gifts and trying to please me that way. I want all of you or I want none of you. Come and serve me with all your heart. If you are here this morning and you are not interested in selling out for Jesus, you might as well stop playing church and go do something you can apply your heart to doing. God has no use for a man who is trying to fool the men around him and isn't intending to serve God with all his heart. [00:10:49] This isn't saying that we don't mess up. This isn't saying that God doesn't want us to repent and come to him. He doesn't need any more mediocre men who are content to just get by. You won't just get by, by the way. But that's so often the attitude we have. If I can just get by, if I do enough, and that's all, I'll be happy with that. But there are already plenty of mediocre men around. The definition of mediocre is average. Adequate or acceptable, but not very good. [00:11:29] If you were going to ask someone to, let's say Nelson Yoder, say I'm going to build a house, and Nelson comes out and gives me a quote on the house, And I'd say, well, what kind of a carpenter are you? Oh, he said, I do good enough work. I get by. Would you be impressed? Would you think, okay, this is the guy I want to hire to do my work? Why is it in our work and in our playing sports and anything there is, we want to be the best. We want to do what we can. We want to excel at what we do. [00:12:00] But in spiritual life, mediocre is acceptable. I can coast. If I just make it to heaven, if I just get by, that's all I'm concerned about. I don't want to go to hell, but I'm not really interested in selling out and being what all I can be and really living for the Lord. And a lot of that is going to be reflected, I'm afraid, in our families As our children grow, as they begin making their own decisions and facing their own struggles in life [00:12:30] How rooted are they from what Dad has helped them to establish in their lives? Revelation 3, 14-16 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write These things, sayeth the Amen, the faithful and true witness The beginning of the creation of God. I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot. I would thou wert cold or hot. So then, because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth. [00:13:01] They were indifferent. They were coasting. They were indecisive. One commentator I read, they were so concentrated on not causing a division, and everybody just get along and nobody say anything to anybody, that they were completely ineffective. They were lukewarm. Lukewarm. Do not take this verse to mean God would rather I were cold than lukewarm. God does not want a cold person either. The hot springs in the area were probably what were being referred to at this time or the reason he gave the illustration. You can go to a well and get a nice cold drink of water and that water is refreshing, that water is a blessing to you. [00:13:51] Or you can go to a hot spring or take a hot bath. That water is hot and it feels good, it's refreshing to you. Lukewarm water doesn't have much use for anything. It's not good for, there really isn't a lot of use for anything lukewarm. You need something that is doing what it can, something that is refreshing. So first of all we need to commit to following God with our whole heart And that means that he becomes by far the most important thing in our lives [00:14:24] I've got three things I would like to look at this morning For a challenge I guess for us men Love the Lord for real Teach and train Deuteronomy 6, 4-7 Why don't we just turn to that Deuteronomy 6, 4-7 Talking about loving the Lord and being for real, having it in our hearts, not just being able to talk about it, not just fitting in with the crowd, but to actually love the Lord. [00:14:59] Deuteronomy 6, 4-7 Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord, and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart, and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. We talk about what's in our heart. When we get together and we have a discussion with other men or in our homes, what do we talk about with our children? [00:15:36] Do our children hear us talk about God enough that our children believe we have God in our hearts, not just in our heads, something we know about, but He's actually a real vibrant part of our lives? We lead by example. It's not going to do much good to tell if we don't show. Most of us know what show and tell is in school. We bring us a toy or an object, or at least that's how it was in our school, and we tell about it. We show them this thing we have and how it works, why we like it, and we have show and tell. [00:16:10] If we just try to tell, we can't describe it like we can if we show it. 2 Timothy 1.5 When I called to remember, it's the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois and thy mother Eunice, and I am persuaded that in thee also. Paul told Timothy he realized that Timothy had an unfeigned faith, not a fake one or something he was just putting on a front, but he had a real one. And by the way, if you notice there, I am speaking to the men this morning, but Timothy got his faith from his grandmother and his mother because his dad was not a Christian, wasn't around for him. [00:16:52] So, women, you too are very important. We're all in this together. His faith was real. What does real look like? Matthew 22, 35-40 I've got a lot of things here to cover so I'm trying to kind of move through this I'll read the verses rather than trying to turn to all of them Matthew 22, 35-40 Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question tempting him and saying, Master, which is the great commandment in the law? [00:17:24] Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul and with all thy mind This is the first and great commandment And the second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Do your children believe that dad loves Jesus more than anything in the world and loves the neighbors almost as much? When your children hear you talking about God, can they tell that you love God, love Jesus? [00:17:57] When your children hear you talking about the neighbors, can they tell that you love the neighbors, you have a burden for the neighbors? Or are they the pesky neighbors that you just as soon moved out? Why is the commandment, Jesus said very plainly that the two greatest commandments were to love the Lord our God, to love our neighbor as ourself. And yet those are the two that we so easily overlook, so easily excuse. [00:18:28] We'll look at someone and say, boy, I just, you know, his attitude or his this or that. It's so easy to look at others and see something in their life and say, boy, you know, they're drifting. That's a real problem they have. And I'm not like that. But yet when we look at ourselves and say, I really struggle loving the Lord with all my heart or loving my neighbor. Well, that's a weakness. That's something we need to work on. We excuse that. For one thing, it's something that's hard to put a finger on. It might be hard for us to really identify. We just look at a man and say, yep, he loves the Lord. It's not that simple. We need to see their lives, or we need to look at our own lives. Love our neighbors. If we can't love our neighbors, Jesus said, how can you love him you have not seen if you cannot love him that you do know? [00:19:30] If you can't love your brother, how can you possibly love God, someone you don't even know? Once again, we lead by example, and it's not going to do much good to tell if we don't show. Our children need role models. Do they see us being content and having fun being a Christian? Can our children tell that being a Christian is worth being a Christian? When I get big, I'm going to be a Christian because that's what Dad is, and I can tell he enjoys being a Christian. [00:20:02] Or, I'm not sure I want to go through all the drudgery and all the things I have to do because that's how Dad views it. Our responsibility is to teach. Teach our children. Has your son learned more about God from you than he has in Sunday school? Who is forming your child? And I don't want to downplay Sunday school and the teachers that are trying to do a good job. [00:20:32] I appreciate that. But we can't just simply say, I'll send my kids to Sunday school and they'll learn. And that's good enough. We need to teach our children. Deuteronomy 4, 9-10 Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life. But teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons, especially the day that thou stoodest before the Lord thy God in Horeb. [00:21:04] When the Lord said unto me, Gather me the people together, and I will make them hear my words, that they may learn to fear me all the days that they shall live upon the earth, and that they may teach their children. That's the day when the mountain, when God came and touched the mountain and the mountain shook and smoked They were supposed to remember that and teach their children about it Psalm 78, 1-7 Give ear, O my people, to my law Incline your ears to the words of my mouth I will open my mouth in a parable I will utter dark sayings of old [00:21:35] Which we have heard and known And our fathers have told us We will not hide them from their children Showing to the generation to come the praises of the Lord and His strength and His wonderful works that He hath done Pre-established a testimony of Jacob and appointed a law in Israel which He commanded our fathers That they should make them known to their children That the generation to come might know them Even the children which should be born Who should arise and declare them to their children So there we see it going from generation to generation That they might set their hope in God and not forget the works of God [00:22:07] But keep His commandments Who do you really want to trust your child's teaching to? No matter how well you are, we can trust the Sunday school teacher, we can trust the school teacher, the Christian, you know, other Christian men. I don't want to downplay that, but we really need to make sure that our children are being taught the convictions that we hold, The beliefs that we hold, and it's our responsibility as fathers, as heads of homes, we are the ones that are truly, ultimately responsible for our child's Christian education. [00:22:50] Being taught about God. God's design was for fathers to be the ones who taught their children about God. I've heard this, I can't, I know there's people here that would agree with me That when Sunday school was first invented, first brought on the scene, the idea was presented There were people that were against it Because the older men said it won't be long and the fathers won't teach their children They'll send them to Sunday school and let Sunday school teach their children [00:23:22] Has it happened? How heavily do we lean on our children for that half hour or whatever it is on Sunday morning if they're in Sunday school, being their education? They know all the Bible stories, so that's good enough. Or are we teaching them what it means to be a Christian? What do we teach them? Number one, ye must be born again. John 3, 3, Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto you, [00:23:54] Accepting man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God If you go to Ezekiel 18, God is talking to them about the You have this proverb you say where the fathers have eaten sour grapes and the children's teeth are set on edge He said that's no longer going to be the case From now on if a man is godly and has a wicked son The wicked son will bear the brunt of that It won't be the father receiving judgment for that If the father has been faithful, and vice versa, if the father is wicked, that doesn't mean that the son has to pay for his father's sins. [00:24:32] God has no grandchildren. Just because dad was a righteous man doesn't mean that the children are excused from having a relationship with Jesus. Each child needs to be taught the importance of having a personal relationship with Jesus. Number two, the fear of the Lord. This is by no means a comprehensive list. But I really believe that if we can instill in our children a fear of the Lord, [00:25:06] a correct fear, a proper fear, a proper view of God, it will go a long way in teaching them how to view a lot of different things that they're going to face. Psalms 34.11 Come ye children, hearken unto me, I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Job 28.28 And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to depart from evil is understanding. Proverbs 1.7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. [00:25:40] Proverbs 9.10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. Notice that Proverbs 1-7 and Proverbs 9-10 say, the first one says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. The second one says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. What do we want our children to be when they grow up? We want them to be knowledgeable, wise children. We need to teach them the fear of the Lord. Proverbs 14, 26-27 [00:26:10] In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence, and his children shall have a place of refuge. The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life to depart from the snares of death. And then what happens when you do not have the fear of the Lord? Proverbs 1, 24-29 Because I have called, and ye refused, I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded. But ye have said it not, all my counsel, and would none of my reproof. I also will laugh at your calamity. I will mock when your fear cometh. When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind, when distress and anguish cometh upon you, then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer. They shall seek me early, but they shall not find me, for that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the Lord. [00:26:56] When we lost our, I've shared this before I think, but when we lost our twins, that's the thing I look at a lot. I guess that's by far the hardest thing that I've gone through in my life. But having a fear of the Lord, and by that I mean an understanding of respect. In fact, when your view of God is that God knows best, God is, His ways are high above our, His ways are above our ways, the wisdom of God is foolishness with man. [00:27:37] But just simply having that trust, being able to know, we don't understand why we had, almost had twins and then lost them, why God chose to do that. But being able to trust and accept that God is good and God is in control This isn't something that took God by surprise It was in God's will, it was in God's timing And just simply being able to accept that, I believe, made that much easier to deal with [00:28:10] Than it would have been if we just got angry at God and questioned God And wondered, of course we wondered, but when something happens in our lives, notice that when God, when he talks about not having a fear, it says, when your fear cometh as desolation and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind, when distress and anguish cometh upon you, he doesn't say if, he says when. We are going to face storms in life. They may be, well they will be different for each one of us. But knowing that God is in control, when we question, we don't question why me, we question what is God trying to teach me? [00:28:54] What is God trying to show me through this? If we can instill that in our children, that when something happens to us, it's God's will, it's God's leading in our lives, if we can accept that and teach our children to accept that and to grasp that, that something to hold on to is God's sovereignty, I think they will be much better equipped for life. To train. We need to train our children. Proverbs 22.6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. [00:29:29] Proverbs 29.18 says Where there is no vision, the people perish. That vision can be looked at in several different ways. I think actually the author's original intent was not the way we usually use it. Usually we see it as projecting. You know, we look ahead five years. That's having vision. And I don't think that's wrong to use it that way. But the way he's actually talking about is Marjorie knows what it's like not to have vision when she's riding her bicycle That's the very thing right there [00:30:01] When you don't have vision, you fall off the trail You get lost, you perish You need to be able to see where you're going Do you have a vision for your family? Are you training them on purpose? Is the training suited to the individual? Individual. We can't just take, some of us have, well we all have different numbers of children I guess, but if you have two children, you have children that are different from each other. And they maybe won't need the same, they're not both going to be suited for the exact same line of work. Their strengths and weaknesses are going to be different. [00:30:39] Are we trying to do our best to equip that individual for life? Are we just raising children or are we training children? You know, somebody will have a, I can't believe how often I go to do a fence quote for somebody that's got three or four horses and they'll say, yeah, 15 years ago I bought the first horse and that's all I was going to have. Now I've got four of them and I never ride them. I don't know why I even keep them but I just can't stand to get rid of them. Those horses are just being kept. They're not being used or utilized or they're virtually worthless. [00:31:19] Are we raising our children? I've got children, I've got to feed them and clothe them, send them to school, and when they get big enough to be on their own, they'll head out on their own. Or are we training our children to be highly effective individuals that can impact the world for Christ? You know, you can have a dog that's a pet. I don't want to compare our children to dogs. But you can have a dog that's a pet that, you know, he maybe will go get the ball or he'll do whatever. It really doesn't have any value, or you can have, I remember when we used to haul hogs, we'd go to, or cattle, we'd go to these different Amish farms, and they'd have cattle, you know, back on the back 40, and they'd just tell the dog, go get the cattle. [00:32:04] And the dog would go and bring the cattle up for milking, or bring the horses up, if they wanted the horse. That dog had a purpose, that dog was trained, and he was beneficial. Are we training our children? I was amazed when I looked up train in the thesaurus How many different ways the word train can be used To teach, to coach, to educate, instruct, prepare, tutor, school, guide, exercise, workout, keep in shape, keep fit, aim, direct, line up, focus, or point [00:32:43] No wonder the kids get tired of training them, huh? Number one, learn or teach skills. I'm going to give us a few things here on how we train. What do we do? Train would mean to learn or teach skills. To learn the skills necessary to do a job or teach somebody such skills, especially through practical experience. To prepare our children for life in the real world. [00:33:14] Are we preparing our children to face the world? Does your child realize that the way to get money is to work for it? Or does dad just hand it out? Does he or she understand that dad is not always going to bail them out when they need something and are out of money? Do they know how to work a budget? Do they understand the importance of tithing before anything else? Do we tithe if we have money left over? Are they being taught to save? [00:33:47] You don't just blow it every weekend. Why not start them young? What we did with our children, it's very simple and it doesn't take a lot of time, but I do believe it will help them to learn, is we divide things into 10%, 30%, and 60%. If they get money for doing a job or maybe their uncle is over and gives them a dollar for their birthday, we take that and we divide it into 10% goes to God. We give them three banks. And one is marked God or Jesus. And the other one is marked spend. And the other one is marked save. And they go 10% into God, 30% into spend, and 60% into save. And I'm not saying those are ideal numbers. You can do whatever. [00:34:37] Whatever, but I'm just saying, just giving them the idea that when I have a dollar, that doesn't mean I have one dollar to go spend at Walmart for a pack of gum. That means I have ten cents to give to Jesus, that means I have 30 cents to spend on some gum or whatever I want to buy, and I have 60 cents to save. Just practical things like that, what are we doing to teach our children how to handle life? Number two, another meaning of train is to domesticate an animal. [00:35:08] To teach an animal to behave in ways acceptable to people, especially by repetition or practice. Training in this manner takes time. You don't just tell your dog to fetch one time and he fetches. You don't, it takes time in training. How many of you know the song, The Cat's in the Cradle and the Silver Spin? Probably a lot of you know that song. That's the song of a boy that is born into the world and dad's away on business and it's always, there's several verses, but every verse is, you know, I will sometime son, and the son says, when are we going to do this dad, when are we going to be together, and dad says, we will, when I have time, we'll have a real good time, when I have time. [00:35:50] Well, then it turns up, it progresses, the boy goes to college, comes home from college, and his dad says, hey, you know, this is great, we can be together. Let's go, you know, go do something together. And his son says, no, I just want the car keys. I'm going to go out, I've got my friends, I'm going to go out with my friends. And then later, his son is married, he calls his dad, says, boy, we haven't talked in a long time, but the, and in the end of every course, the boy would always say, you know I'm going to be like you, dad. [00:36:22] I get big, I'm going to be like you. And then the very last course, the boy is telling his dad, the new job's a hassle and the kids have the flu, but I will come sometime, we'll see you sometime, when we have time. And he said when he hung up the phone it occurred to him he had grown up just like me. The boy learned from his dad that work and providing for the family and getting ahead in the world was more important than spending time with family or spending time with people. [00:36:54] And he turned out just like his dad. The only currency children deal in is time. You can't buy them with anything else. How many times have you heard a man say, I don't know what to do about him. I buy him what he wants and he still isn't happy. Or maybe it's, I know I don't spend much time with him now, but after I get some debt paid down and don't have to work so hard, I'll be able to do more with them. Only to find out that by that time, the boy has his own friends that doesn't really need or have time for dad anymore. [00:37:27] When they're young, I know most families, America is the way of life, when they're young is when we have the biggest debt, it's the hardest to make ends meet, but that is when our children need us. We need to build a relationship with our children in order to train them. Number three, to train is to prepare for a sporting competition. To prepare for a sporting competition or prepare somebody for a sporting competition, [00:37:59] usually with a planned program of appropriate physical exercises. Hebrews 12.1 Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about being with so great a cloud of witnesses, Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. We are in a race. Are we providing regular training exercises for our family? Will our children be in shape when they start to face life and its difficulties? If you would interview professional baseball players, they're probably not one anywhere in professional baseball at least, probably not the other sports either. [00:38:44] But they don't pick up a ball bat at the age of 15, or a baseball at the age of 15, and say, hey, I like this, and end up playing in the major leagues. These kids, their dad has been working on them, when they were three years old, they were learning to bat, they were learning to throw a ball. Most guys that make it to the elite spots in their particular sport have been doing it from an extremely young age. I believe that's the same way we need to be with our kids. We can't let them grow up to where they understand everything before we start training them. [00:39:16] They need to have it ingrained in them very young. Number four, to train would be to make a plant grow as wanted. to make a plant, bush, or tree grow in a particular way by pruning or tying it. Proverbs 19, 18, Chase a nice stone while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Sometimes it seems people are afraid that if a child cries, they have gone too far in punishing him. It might make him not like me anymore. [00:39:48] If you would ask a hundred people what's the best way to discipline, you'd probably get a hundred answers. A hundred ideas. In fact, the Reader's Digest, we just noticed this week, they interviewed different countries, probably a lot of you saw that, but on what's the most effective way to discipline. And the overall answer was, spare the rod. That is what conventional wisdom is, if you use the rod, you're doing it wrong. You need to spare the rod, talking to, a good talking to is a real popular one. [00:40:22] Usually when I scold that, they listen. What does God say? Proverbs 13, 24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son. But that can't mean hate, that must be, we understand that wrong, right? But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Proverbs 22, 15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. 23, 13-14 withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die [00:40:55] thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell now that is one word that we would not think of beating with a rod in the way that they thought of it that's simply saying spanking with a rod Proverbs 29.15 the rod and reproof give wisdom but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame Do we agree with God that the rod is a necessary tool? I heard Chuck Swindoll say one time, he actually wasn't talking about discipline, he was talking about people reading scripture, we can read the verse, different things and say, but God can't mean that. [00:41:37] And he used this as an illustration, he said, we have a lot of verses that say, spare the rod, spoil the child. You know, that the rod is a necessary form of punishment, and yet we have parents trying every way conceivable except that. Just because God says that's the best way doesn't mean that's the best way, because we have modern wisdom. God says it's the way to do it, and it is by far the most effective way to do it. [00:42:08] In my household, that has been proven again and again. Consistency is the key to making it work well. I'm not saying that every time a child offends, they need to be spanked. I'm not saying that. But your child does need to know that the first time dad says no means no. Not the fifth time or the tenth time. And another thing with punishing, if you don't both end up happy, [00:42:40] The punishment, at least this is what I've found, and I have, my children are still quite young, and I'm not an expert on this. But if after punishment, you're angry, and your child's angry, I don't think the punishment did any good. That will breed rebellion. It needs to be done in love, and it needs to be done with a proper attitude, and your child needs to understand what it's for. It's not just because dad's mad today. It's because I offended, I needed to be punished. [00:43:11] To train means to aim something. To aim something such as a weapon or camera at somebody or something. We've heard of the song, as arrows in the hand of a warrior, children have been placed in our hands. We have arrows, our children are our arrows to impact the world. Does the devil know that there are more just like you on the way? Does it bother him? Does he say, wow, that guy's got three sons and they're all going to be just like him when they get to be adults and have families. [00:43:47] There's going to be three more families just like him. What are we going to do about this? Or does he say, well, good, at least they're going to be like him. I don't have to deal with that. Mediocre. Are we training our children to rise above? It comes back to having a vision for your family and teaching them to live life on purpose. Every day, everything we do has an impact. And then number six, the last one I have on train is to make something better. [00:44:19] To improve something, especially the mind, with discipline. 2 Corinthians 10.5 Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Teach them you can live in victory in your thought life. And I have in parentheses, just like you, right? Are you living in victory in your thought life? And are you teaching your children how to do the same? [00:44:55] When do our children start to learn? We cannot afford to wait until they are older to start to teach them things Things like nonresistance Does my child know that it is never okay to hit Even if the other kid hit me first Or does he know that if he explains that he was just protecting himself That he will not be in any trouble How do I react when someone wrongs me They're watching, the kids are watching We fathers have a huge job to do. [00:45:32] We are responsible for developing the character of our children. We will give account for what we taught or didn't teach our children. We are to be the leaders in our home, not our wives. We cannot say we're too busy to teach our kids and assign the job to their mom. Are we being vigilant in guarding our kids' heart? What are you allowing them to see and hear when they watch what you watch? What are they being taught to appreciate? [00:46:06] Jim Bontrager shared here at Mary Louisa's funeral. How can we watch or listen to something that Christ came and died to save us from? I had never really thought of it that way before. When you're reading a book or watching a movie, listening to songs, whatever on the radio, are you listening to and appreciating, hearing about and listening to [00:46:37] things that Christ came and died to deliver us from? Christ gave his life because of sin. Are we celebrating and appreciating sin? What are we doing to make sure that our children will be influencers and not the influenced? Are we empowering them by teaching and showing them why we do what we do? So often children are afraid that they're, I mean, men, we can be afraid that our children will be influenced by the bad kids. [00:47:15] Like, for instance, when my kids play with the deacons' kids. But our children should be the influencers. Are we making sure our children are... Somebody in that group is the influence. You can't always say everyone's influencing the other one. Somebody in that group is going to be the leader. Somebody in that group is going to be grounded or not. Somebody will either be operating out of, I've been taught and I know, I have a fear for God and I am not going down that path, whether the other group does or not. [00:47:52] Or there will be somebody in that group that is saying, I hate my dad, dad never liked me and I don't like him and I'm going to do everything I can to go against dad. Somebody's going to be the influencer in that group. What kind of children are you, are we raising, are we raising influencers or are we raising the influenced? Will they live mediocre lives because mediocrity is what they've seen at home all their lives? [00:48:26] The illustration of Eli, 1 Samuel 3, 11-14 And the Lord said to Samuel, Behold, I will do a thing in Israel at which both the ears of every one that heareth it shall tingle. In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house. When I begin, I will also make an end. For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knoweth, because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. And therefore I have sworn unto the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering forever. [00:49:06] I don't know what else Eli did or didn't do. It does say one time he talked to his sons and said, well now you shouldn't be doing that. But they just didn't listen to him. By this time they were adults. Men, let's take inventory. Ask yourself hard questions. Remember when you were a teenager. Remember how hard it was to maintain a pure mind. Is the way your daughter dresses causing a young man to stumble? [00:49:41] What movies and books are in my house? We need to love, but love is not indifferent. Love will cause us to stand up and teach our children, our wife, that Christ is coming for a church without spot or wrinkle. Ask God for wisdom and admit when he speaks. Let's stand for prayer. Lord, we come before you this morning realizing that we are weak and needy creatures. [00:50:22] Lord, I pray that you would give us strength, give us resolve. Help us, Lord, to be men that are not mediocre, but that are men that are serving you with all our hearts. Help us, Lord, to raise families that will have an impact on the world. Give us vision. Give us purpose. We ask, Lord, for a sense of determination. [00:50:55] most of the Lord we ask for wisdom just give us insight Lord and discernment help us Lord to to handle each situation that comes along effectively to your honor and your glory we pray for grace Lord that you would just help us we can't do it alone we just ask that you help us thank you Lord for all you do for us thank you for caring And we ask all these things in Jesus' name. Amen.