Courtesy And The Christian

[00:00:00] This audio sermon is provided by AnabaptistSermons.com and may be freely copied and distributed. You may not sell or edit this sermon. Our prayer is that you would be blessed by this ministry. Greetings to each one of you in the precious name of Jesus. The message I have chosen to, or has been laid on my heart this morning, is Courtesy and the Christian. And I have before thought about courtesy, how it pertains to the Christian. [00:00:32] And you have to wonder a question that has come to my mind, and that is, is courtesy really a godly virtue? Is it just kind of a social grace that is developed or according to our peers and our social environment we become acceptable? Does it really have value or is it just a man-made, man-accepted type of virtue that varies from one culture to another? [00:01:09] Is it just man's effort of being dignified? Well, it kept, looked up to, and accepted. Well, if you search your Bible for the word courtesy or courteous, you will only find it one time. One time in 1 Peter 3.8, Peter encourages his listeners. In their relationships with each other to be courteous [00:01:41] And the original would have the friendly mind, kind If you look at the word courteously, you will only find it two times in the Bible As used as an adverb and referring to how a deed was done It was done courteously And those are the only things That's three times in the Bible. So does it pertain or not? Is it something that we should look at? [00:02:13] As I think of, well, let's just go on to say that the Bible is far from being silent on courteous, on being courteous or courtesy. Courtesy. If you open your search to manners, conversation, behavior, those type of words, thoughtfulness, the Bible is full. As I think of courtesy, I think of something external, maybe opening a door for an elderly, kind actions, some kind word, please and thank you. [00:02:55] We go to town and we meet very ungodly people who can be very courteous. So how does that work? Is it just an outward thing? Well, I believe that the highest level of courtesy is when it comes from a regenerated heart. I think of the word character as I think of real, genuine courtesy. I think of character. Character is what you are when it's dark. Character is what you are when you're all alone. [00:03:29] Character is what you would do if no one would find out. You know, youth and beauty fade, but character endures eternally, forever. And I believe the words of the Proverbs writer in chapter 4, verse 23, he says, Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are all the issues of life. And I believe courtesy is one of those issues. [00:04:00] Well, why is courtesy important? And we already alluded to 1 Peter 3.8. Point number one, it is commanded in the Bible. And if you care to, you can turn to that verse, 1 Peter 3.8. I'll read the verse in entirety. Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous. And also nine, not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing, but contrawise blessing, knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. [00:04:42] This is a calling for us as God's children, that ye should inherit a blessing. And now for the main text, I would like to turn to Colossians, the third chapter. Read verses 12 through 17. He begins this chapter, If ye be risen with Christ, risen with Christ, we are to set our affections on things above. We are to be dead, [00:05:12] to mortify the flesh, put away the evil, and put on, put on spiritual apparel. Put on the things that, or how should I say, put on the new man that is, as it says in verse 10, renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him. And now beginning in verse 12, put on, therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved. [00:05:45] 1. Bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering, forbearing one another, forgiving one another, if any have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things, put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also you are called in one body, and be ye thankful. [00:06:19] Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, Singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord And whatsoever ye do in word or deed Do all in the name of the Lord Jesus Giving thanks to God and the Father by Him Courtesy Do you see courtesy explained in this chapter? [00:06:49] I can't get it any clearer We think about all those virtues that are mentioned Courtesy Why is courtesy important? Number two, as we see in verse 10 and also in verse 17, we represent Christ. We, in his image, his elect, his chosen, and all that we say and do is to reflect Christ. [00:07:21] It is to, we are a tangible mirror to reflect Christ, and I feel that is very important for us to remember. We are a mirror that reflects Christ, we also reflect his church, her people, her way of life, and it is to have appeal. It is to attract. As I look at these virtues, mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, forbearance, forgiveness, those are virtues that are attractive. [00:08:05] Those are virtues we find in Jesus Christ. That news flashed all around of the Amish school shootings. I want to tell you what followed the forgiveness that followed the globe talked about for months. Why? Because it was attractive. Why is courtesy important? While we communicate a lot by words, we also commute. We communicate much more by actions. [00:08:37] In 1967, Doug Nichols was serving in India. Somehow he picked up TB and was forced into a sanitarium for several months. He had just gotten there, didn't know the language. The only thing he had was gospel literature in their language. And he did his best in that place to hand it out, to try and give it to doctors, patients, anyone he could, all politely refused. [00:09:16] Nights he would often wake up coughing, two o'clock in the morning he once saw an old man at advanced TB, hacking and coughing and trying to get out of his bed. He kept trying to get out. He'd fall back in, try to get out and fall back in and finally gave up and whimpered. Doug slept on. The next morning he woke to an awful stench in the room. He said, oh, that man was trying to go to the restroom and he couldn't by himself. [00:09:51] The patients yelled insults at the old man, the doctors and nurses were angry, one slapped him, and the man wept. The next night, again, he was awakened by his coughing and happened to see the old man, again, trying to get up. Now Doug didn't like that smell, neither does he like to get involved, but he goes over, he picks up that man, [00:10:25] carries him to a dingy restroom, assists him, carries him back, puts him into bed, and he goes back to sleep. The next morning, he's awakened by a patient that is handing him a cup of tea and then motions that he'd like to have some literature or a track. And as the day went on, many patients asked for Bibles and literature. [00:10:57] Even the doctors and nurses and interns and staff. And a few weeks later, an evangelist who knew the language came and visited and found out there were various different individuals who had accepted Christ by reading that material. Now, what did it take to reach those people? A persuasive preacher? Did it take a dynamic speaker? Did it take, he didn't even know his language, their language. It simply only took a trip to the bathroom. [00:11:40] But that act spoke of love. It spoke of compassion. It spoke of humility. It spoke of respect and dignity. And it was attractive. People wondered what he had. They could sense a sincere, a genuine love in that man's heart. Virtues, these virtues, courtesy can be a powerful tool to witness the massacres that just happened. [00:12:15] I think evidence that even the Taliban recognizes the power of Christian aid, helping the unfortunate people speaks, even though a word may not be said. Now I'd like to change your minds just a little or change the direction just a little bit. What about a lack of these? Is a lack of common graces distractive or worse yet, repulsive? [00:12:49] Can it be? What about this little collar that was out? It's just enough to distract. And I'm glad you took the effort to let me know on it. I'm sorry, I did it on purpose. But what if I'd be standing up here with a little egg on my beard or a little ball of tapioca? Would it be hard to concentrate? Just human nature, yes. And I recognize there are times when we accidentally, unintentionally do these things. [00:13:23] But I guess the thought that I wanted to, that came to my mind, and that is, Are there actions and attitudes about myself, my life, that cause a distraction to society, to others? Is a lack of my common graces enough for me to appear boorish or disdainful to the public? And I think we do well to consider. [00:13:56] I'm thinking of pride, thinking of arrogance, or always talking about my toys and what I like to do, or carelessness, a tough image. Does it draw away, does it distract from the image of Christ? If the problem's bad enough, I believe it causes repulsiveness, a disdain. Now I recognize that standing for truth always brings opposition, but I class that in a different way than what I'm referring to this morning. [00:14:39] What I'm referring to is a lack of courtesy that is disdainful and serious, the serious part of it, it eliminates the effectiveness of our witness. Let me give you an example. I understand this is true. A group of plain young people were visiting Washington, D.C., and they came to the tomb of the unknown soldier. I haven't been there, but I understand there's posts and chains around the tomb of the unknown soldier. [00:15:15] While they were there observing the change of the guards, different things like that, one of the young men, kind of in a fun mood, horsing around, gets up and tries to stand on one of these chains, and even walk, try to walk on it. Instantly, the guards snapped a rebuke, and the crowd that was hushed and very patriotic looked on in disgust. Now, what went home with those people in their minds? [00:15:52] If this young man would have pulled a track out, could he have passed it out? Would it have been effective? Hardly. Hardly. When our message to the ungodly is an abrasive condemnation or abrasive damnation to hell for where they're at, without the loving Savior and a way to wash those sins away. [00:16:23] I believe that's repulsive because it gives no answers. Jesus has the answer. I'd like to look at a few examples that just came to mind. For Samuel 18, if you read that entire chapter, You will find the various different things that happened to David in that chapter. And it's interesting to note four different times it says, And David behaved himself wisely. [00:16:57] And in the final verse, you can read how his name was widely known because of him behaving himself wisely. I think of Joseph, that man of noble principles, and if we think, we can remember how he was kind to those in authority, respectful, but he was also kind to those in prison. He asked questions how they were. He was gracious, full of wisdom. [00:17:34] Abigail, the wife of that rich, rude man. Yet by her acts of kindness and graciousness, she obviously left a great impression on David. He ended up marrying her after her husband died. Now there's many other that we could probably think of the courtesy and love, different ways that that was shown. But as I think of these three in the way that they showed courtesy, that seems to me deeper than just externals. [00:18:14] And it makes me again think of character. Would I be right in saying that something obviously was standing out? It was extraordinary. People noticed. And it did not bring honor to themselves, but it showed God, or it reflected Christ. I believe that's what we should be. As a Christian to society, we should be attractive. [00:18:45] The virtues that they see in us, they should want Our lives and conduct should have appeal, not repel I'd like to look just quickly here at a few practical aspects of courtesy And if you're hoping for some lessons on good etiquette, I'm sorry I'm not prepared But I believe that there's courtesy, universal courtesy That applies in every culture. [00:19:16] Yes, there are things that may seem different in some culture or in another. I'm talking about universal laws or universal ways of courtesy that is accepted in any culture. These are not in order of importance or anything, just as they came to mind. Cleanliness. Good personal hygiene. And I tell you, I think we're blessed with good teaching, good examples in our homes. A few years ago, I had an experience that made me ask myself some questions. [00:19:51] I walked into our local bank here, and somebody said my name, and I responded back. Inwardly, I wanted to cringe. And by the way, it wasn't any of you all, just to make sure you know. Now, the clothes were in very sorry condition and filthy from head to foot in a public place. And I had to think, how do I present myself in public? Is it important or is it not? I recognize all of us, especially as men, that we're at work, there are times we get dirty. [00:20:26] I think there can be discretion used on where we or to where all we go afterwards or or to what are we again I ask who do we represent people see us what do they what what do you want them to see why is it important is it to be well thought of no it's to reflect Christ that's why it's important Neat and modest attire. Neat. I didn't say fancy or stylish. Neat. [00:21:04] You don't have to be rich to be neat. Modesty, we know, is commanded in the Bible. As they look on our clothes, as they see us, it's a very tangible part of us, speaks volumes. What do they see? What do they think about? As they look at my clothes, does it make them think of my body, my talents, my favorite sports team? Or is there a simple beauty that attracts unto godliness, that is attractive, makes them think of God, that there is respect? [00:21:49] I recognize that there may be different situations where different types of clothing are appropriate. But as I think of the word casual, I don't, to me that the term casual clothes carries the idea that it doesn't matter so much. It's not that important, kind of a looseness that just doesn't fit with worship. And if we read in Malachi 1, verses 6 through 11, we can see what God expects from his people in worship. [00:22:28] He expects their very best. And I believe formal wear promotes reverence, order. How do you dress for a wedding? Your wedding. How do you dress for God? Some more aspects. Being respectful. That's so broad it's impossible to cover every aspect of being respectful. I think of just simple things. Opening a door for a lady or someone elderly. [00:23:00] Assisting. What happens when you walk into the gas station and you see you're about going to hit the door at the same time as somebody else? You speed up so you can get in the door first and get your stuff done. Or you just take a little extra time, open that door, look at them in the eye, and give them a smile or a greeting. You know, those things do communicate. Various stories that one could give of the inspiration that that gave that individual in recognizing them. [00:23:36] And it made a difference in their life. When others speak to you, do you acknowledge them? Or, are you like a pig that only grunts at 7 o'clock in the morning? How do we respond when others communicate? Being friendly, not only to certain people, but to everyone. Is there a difference with whom we spend time with? I recognize we all have special friends, but is there a friendly, what do you call it, friendly air around you [00:24:10] that people know it doesn't matter who you are, you get an ear. Kind to the unfortunate, poor, showing them that you value them as an individual. They have worth. No, they don't have money, but they have worth because they're a person. Showing respect to leaders, officers, in the form of how we respond to them, How we talk about them, make references of them, being respectful, being respectful of the property of others. [00:24:46] I remember one time I spent two nights with four other guys at a motel. And the morning that we checked out, you could tell something was not right with the attendant. and muttered even something about him, we wouldn't have to come back again. And we were, what? Us? I mean, yeah, we'd kind of stayed up late, but we didn't make much noise, I didn't think. [00:25:18] And she said, yeah, we had all kinds of complaints of the noise. And we were puzzled. and then she just happened to look at our room number and then she said oh I'm sorry I guess there was another group upstairs that's the one she was referring to but I happen to know that there were others playing youth group who had two rooms upstairs [00:25:50] and later found out they were having a good time for a pretty long time Hmm. I wonder what type of thoughts went through those people's minds, the attendance minds, as those plain young people walked out of that room. Did it leave disdain? Did it leave effective witness? Did it mirror Christ? What about loaning things? Do we return them in as good a condition as we receive them? [00:26:21] Or even better, how do we respect the property of others? You know, my neighbor and I, we have an agreement and I have told him often, anytime, anytime he wants to use my skid steer, he can just come down and help himself. He doesn't have to call. He doesn't have to ask. I hardly use it for long periods of time. Anyhow, he can come anytime he wants to, but he always calls unless I'm not, unless I don't answer the phone or something. He has already used it, but left a message. [00:26:54] To me, it's just simply, he knows it, but he is respecting others' property. And that leaves a good taste. What kind of testimony does littering leave? I recognize that it's all right to have good times, but what if our good times turn to foolishness, silliness, Throwing food in a restaurant And especially, I had to think of some of the ways I've acted [00:27:24] When I hear that other people observed my youth group when I was there They were from another denomination Made me wonder, what did they see? How is that a reflection of Christ? You know, people are watching. Very true. Respect for the opposite sex. Is there a proper reserve between men and women? [00:27:55] We live in a society where this is fallen by the wayside. It's completely fine, it's completely okay for a married man and another married woman to go out for lunch together. It's a common place. Undoubtedly, we are influenced with this type of thing. Maybe not to that extent, but may I ask, what about a social hug or a comfort hug? Is there a proper reserve? [00:28:28] Is there something that, I believe if there's a proper reserve, It actually frees us from suspicion or any type of thing that would distract. We do well to give respect. Speech, another area of courtesy. Colossians 4, 6, Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. [00:29:01] Our speech should be clean. should be dignified. It's easy to get caught up in bywords, slang. I remember one word that was just really popular when I was with the young people. That was, what's up? And, oh, I used that sometimes. Later, I was too naive to understand or know that that was actually a term that came off of some kind of movie. [00:29:34] And I wonder if somebody sees a plain young man use that in a lighthearted way, maybe there's nothing wrong with what's up, but the thoughts that are left, because they know the movies, they know who said it, how did I know there wasn't even an R-rated movie? And I'm referring that or, you know, connotation. I believe we should have pleasant words, positive words, kind and giving encouragement. [00:30:09] Do my conversations show an interest in others or does it just always come back to me around my life? True courtesy comes from the heart. And it doesn't show itself only in public, but also in private. And I can just confess that I was convicted That at home I'm not always as courteous as away from home And I believe we as parents carry a responsibility to teach our children to be courteous [00:30:45] And you know and I know that's best accomplished by example Courtesy again is important because we represent Christ It's important that others see him. Let's stand out for the right reasons. Quite a few references and illustrations were given about youth. And I did not intend to pick on youth. Just as those are some of my experiences. [00:31:15] But I want to just say that, or add that, I believe you as youth have a tremendous opportunity for a powerful witness than what older folks have. And that is that it's expected of you to be foolish. It's expected of you to do your own thing. But when there's godliness, when there's virtue and courtesy, Christian courtesy, I tell you what, that stands out. [00:31:53] It's a powerful witness. Earlier this year, our youth showed some practical love by going out and just doing odd jobs for the community one evening. And only a few days after that, I got this letter in the mail. I'll just read it. Dear friends, we were so fortunate to have some of your youth group stop by our bakery on Friday evening. What a great way to spread God's love. [00:32:27] The very nasty burned on kettles and crockpots became clean and the strawberries were cleaned. Wow! We belong to a church family at Shore Mennonite and are actively involved. However, your actions would invite any unchurched people to your fellowship. It is a reminder to us to love in Jesus' name all we come in contact with. I could go on with the details about how tired and overwhelmed I was with the work that needed to be finished before we went to bed on Friday night. [00:33:01] However, I was truly refreshed and encouraged by you and your very generous gift of your time and energy God bless you a lot I'd like to close the verse found in Titus 2-7 As Paul says to Titus, in all things show thyself a pattern of good works It does make a difference Let's kneel for prayer