Fireproofed Relationships

[00:00:00] This audio sermon is provided by AnabaptistSermons.com and may be freely copied and distributed. You may not sell or edit this sermon. Our prayer is that you would be blessed by this ministry. Blessed assurance, all is at rest. I and my Savior and happy and blessed. Watching and waiting, looking above. Filled with his goodness, lost in his love. [00:00:31] As we sang that song this evening, I was impressed. I was inspired. I was moved. Because this is my story. If this is my song, I can go home. Is that your story? Is that your song? That's quite a message in that song that we sang. That's the blessed assurance that we have. And if you could get the point, lost in his love, I can't explain it, maybe some of you can hear. Lost in his love. [00:01:04] Let's open our Bibles to Matthew 22, beginning at verse 34 to 40. But when the Pharisees had heard that he had put Sadducees to a silence, they were gathered together. Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him and saying, Master, which is the great commandment of the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. [00:01:41] This is the first and great commandment, and the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. I'll skip verse 40 yet. On these two commandments hang all the laws and the prophets. This evening I'd like to talk on a subject on relationships. But when I see this in this passage, he says we should love the Lord with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind. It's a great commandment, and he doesn't stop there. [00:02:14] He says, and the second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbor, what? As thyself. To me that speaks of a relationship that you and I should have. Relationship. Are relationships important this evening? Is relationship important in life? Is relationship important in marriage? Are the relationships important in the church? Are the relationships important in your business matters? Are the relationships important in the community where you live in? [00:02:48] Are they important? If they're important or not important, yes, they are very important to have a relationship. Why do we have all the divorces in our marriages today? It's because of broken relationships. Why do we have all the problems in the church today? It's because of broken relationships. Why do we have institutions in our community when there's one somebody in the community that breaks up a relationship? I'll never go to that place of business again. Or why does the employer have a problem with the employees? [00:03:22] Because of broken relationships. Relationships, indeed, is very important. It's a God-given thing that should be indwelled into our heart, a relationship. How can you have a relationship with God if I can't have a relationship one with another in our own church, our own community, our own homes? It takes a vertical as well as a horizontal. Relationships are very, very important. Just recently when I thought about in the home, I know of a young boy with an obesity consistency, not in this state. [00:03:59] He says, as soon as I turn 18, I'm leaving home. Broken relationships. The father and the mother are tense. Why do you do this, son? It's because of a broken relationship. relationship. The other day I talked to a pastor, a senior pastor from one of our conservative churches. I was in his office and he said to me, what's wrong? I'm frustrated. I'm confused. In the church we have people going around and talking to this person and that person and destroying relationships. In the church where God should be the center. Relationships are important. Accept to do. [00:04:40] And the day of Pentecost came around, in verse 45 to 47, that brought quite a relationship among the church people there. They said they were in one accord in the temple. Are you in one accord here, or whoever may be here? Are you in one accord? Are you breaking bread from house to house? I'm doing it with gladness and singleness of heart. And singleness means undivided. Undivided [00:05:10] My mind isn't out there to destroy something It's here He had a four-year-old son and a six-year-old daughter But he wanted to train those young children the way of truth Well, who doesn't? We all want to raise our family to the glory of God So they can remember obedience as one of the keys There's nothing wrong with him He tried to discipline his children. No, by far not. His biblical wouldn't do that. [00:05:42] But he said one day his four-year-old son, a little four-year-old son, done something he shouldn't have done. So he went and took him out there and put him in the furnace. He had one of those wood stoves on the outside of the house and stuck him in there. Beside him was that little six-year-old daughter. And he told his six-year-old daughter, we'll get the matches. Jesus says, Dad, no, I can't get the matches. You better get the matches or I'll put you in there too. That's actually happening, friends. [00:06:15] It's a culture. But the broken relationship that's happening among us plain people and whoever it may be in the community. Relationships. More can be said on that. But our culture, yes, is to teach obedience. That's fine. That's biblical. Let's do that. But let's just go overboard. That's what brought me to this relationship Because many people have broken relationships Because they thought they were doing right And they haven't Can I say that plain? [00:06:47] My heart's moved tonight Because we have relationships that are broken And we all want to face God someday But if our relationships have broke back here How will I ever meet God? In the right spirit, in the right way Do you think that brought a relationship for that young son and daughter? Remember to the parent. No, it didn't. We all know that. The dictionary says many relationships. It means association. It means closeness. It means connection. [00:07:23] I have a little chain here. When you think about association, they associate together, don't they? They're close together, aren't they? They're connected together, aren't they? That's how you and my relationship should be, one with another. First of all, with God, and one with another. Relationships. In Matthew 22, when Jesus was asked, what's the great commandment? It's to love each other. [00:07:54] It's a relationship with each other, with God, first of all, and secondary, one with another. And also you see that in Luke chapter 10. You can read similar verses. It is safe to say this evening that, or to assume, the wonderful relationship is at the core of your Christian living. If you have a home that is a Christian home, your relationship should be their number one, so to speak. It should be horizontal as vertical. There's no room for any discord. [00:08:26] There's no room for anything else that breaks the relationship. I get it for that little son and the little daughter. To create a good relationship to all of us this evening, for me first of all, is to let's look at a little picture. Let's just say it this way, to get a little picture in our mind this evening. What is a good relationship and how do I create a good relationship? Let's look down the railroad track. There's one rail going one way, one more rail here, and another maybe three foot over or whatever it is, another rail. [00:09:00] Like two rails where the train runs on That's exactly how life is for me and you Your wife might be on one side and you on the other side Or you and your wife might be here and your family here Going down through that track You might be an employer on this side and an employee on this side You might be a pastor for the church here and the church here We're going down through the rail of life But there's many broken homes Many have broken the church, many have broken the employers, business places, because they're not willing to do what I want to suggest pretty soon. [00:09:40] Can I say that? As we work on the tracks of life. And as we go on through the tracks of life, we're trying to keep from falling. Have you ever walked on the rails, the train rails? You know, you want to walk real carefully and make sure you don't fall off the tracks down to the other end. So we hang on for dear life, so to speak One on one side, and the other one on the other side Down the rails we go This is a picture of living, can I say that, among each and every one of us [00:10:10] But if you and I want a relationship with each other What's the best way to keep from falling? Isn't it the best way if this person stretches out his hand towards this person And this person stretches out their hand and take all the hands and go down through that rail of life. If this pastor and this church does the same thing, what a victory can we have? If this home with father and mother or family members or whatever, business, whoever it may be, [00:10:41] let's take a hold of our hands and create a loving relationship as we go down through the rails of life. Too many people have dropped their hands and they have destroyed what God has put together. Because of broken relationships, we need each other. Can I say you need each other? We need you. I need you. You need. Can I say me as well? We need each other. We want each other in the kingdom of God. We need each other here as well. [00:11:13] That brings a relationship because we see the needs of each other's life. Like I said, if you are like this chain, I'm going to be associated one with another. I'm going to be a close one. I'm going to be connected. But too many people, look at this, too many people have moved. I'm no longer close. I'm no longer connected, so to speak. Well, I'm connected, but not tight closeness, because I have broken my relationship. [00:11:50] I have disassociated myself. I have drawn too far away from others. I have disconnected myself from others. And yet he says, I'm to love my neighbor as thyself. This evening I'd like to challenge all of us, how do I love myself? How do I love my neighbor? How do I love those that are going down the rails of life? Am I willing to hold hands and fight for victory? Do you see what Jesus is saying in Matthew and in Luke? [00:12:27] Do we only see our culture and have the different views and visions? I believe it's time tonight, can I say that? You and I, fireproof, notice the word I said, fireproof. My relationship. Now how do I do that? How do I fireproof my relationship? At home, we have a fireproof safe. In the fireproof safe, I like to keep what? Just old trashy stuff? I keep the important things. [00:13:02] So in case there's a fire, hopefully that can be saved. This evening, how do you value one another in the church? How do you value one another in your business? How do you value one another in the community? How do you value one another in the home? How do you value? But anyway, I keep important things there because I want to fireproof it. I believe too many people who don't have a husband and wife relationship fire-approved. [00:13:34] Or the church and the pastor is fire-approved. They have broken relationships. Or the employer with the employee. They have broken relationships. It's not fire-approved. Or the one in the community I wouldn't want to deal with anymore because of some shady dealings. It's not fire-approved. Fire-approved means like this. The dictionary says like this. Capable of withstanding or preventing damage by fire I'll say that again The dictionary says capable of withstanding or preventing damage by fire [00:14:09] Why? So it doesn't get, in case there's a fire, it's preserved Remember that word, preserved It doesn't mean that it will never burn Or things can't happen For instance, when the Twin Towers got hit here back in 2001, they had in those big buildings, they had fireproof I-beams. Did that still prevent it from not burning down? No, but it kept it maybe perhaps longer. It was built for fireproof I-beams, but it still had to burn. [00:14:44] But to fireproof my relationship, notice what I'm going to say. We, individually here, all of us, whoever it may be, we need to value or we want to do anything to help preserve it. This evening, am I lost in His love to where I'm preserving my relationship, one with another in the congregation, to preserve it so there's no damage? It burdens me, friends, when I hear the pastor say, there's something going on, I'm confused. [00:15:20] It burdens me today when I see, well, I use this story, when I see they're thinking they're doing it right, and they're going over God's method of disciplining, thinking, well, it's right, I'll put him in that furnace. I'll show him a little thing, but the broken relationship is evident. And we have that, can I say, among us. God's not pleased when we break a relationship I need to fireproof it, I need to preserve it Because I value that person more than myself [00:15:51] That's relationship building We're all somewhat created, or can I say wired Let me use that word for relationships I don't think there's one here that likes to say I like to be alone, I don't care for anybody We're not created that way But I didn't make us that way. We like somebody. I like to have the touch of somebody to help me along the pathway. We're wired that way. So we're that way. Why wouldn't we want to help preserve and try to do the best we can to create a relationship one with another? [00:16:31] by taking hold of hands, so to speak, as we've gone through the rails of life to help each other along. There's not one of us that can do it by ourselves. Or would you rather get disconnected or have a broken relationship? If it is, then you have dropped your hands, so to speak. If you want your home tonight, if you want your church tonight, if you want your community tonight, Or you want your business, may I say, fireproof, preserve it for rough days, adversities, and things that will come so that relationship does not get broken. [00:17:14] And when I do that, I place others first. Catch that? When I fireproof my relationship, I put others first. Even though I'm associate pastor at Fairhaven, I'm not the first one. I want to look at the congregation. And I hope the congregation looks at it as pastors as well. Vice versa. The employer is the same way. Just because I'm an employee doesn't mean I've got to have my way. Or if I'm an employer, it's got to go my way. Just because I'm the dad of the home doesn't mean it's got to go on my way. [00:17:48] Or the mother as well. Or just because I've got a business within the community, it's got to go my way. If somebody comes over and I need something well, I'm going to charge them, I'm going to get him. Shady dealings. And that happens among us. Broken relationship. Why don't people want to come back? Because you haven't fire approved or preserved or you haven't seen that person first. To fire approve it is like Jesus says in Philippians chapter 2 verse 3 and verse 5 and 6 [00:18:24] Now you and I need to have the mind of Christ. Can you imagine Christ going down the rails of life with us people? Ah, go do your own thing. He wants a hold of us. He wants to put his hand in my hand and clasp it together and go down through that life. Rail of life. Jesus isn't going to let me sit, neither should we, if we want a relationship one with another. Relationships. Don't go overboard. Discipline is, that's biblical, but don't go overboard [00:18:57] They create a broken relationship To restore a broken relationship takes time It takes a long time I remember when we lived in Florida one time We had a young man there, didn't have any children And something happened, I forget really what happened But he said, so I went to him and said Can you forgive me? The statement I think that I made, and he took it wrong. Can you forgive me? He said, I can't forgive you. [00:19:29] Fine. That's up to you. I'm here at your mercy. I ask for forgiveness. It took years, Archons, years. Today is one of our best friends' relationships. And you wonder why? This can and only will happen to have the mind of Christ. When I let God control my heart, when I let God control my thoughts, when I let God control my actions and reactions of things in life. [00:20:00] But too often relationships are broken or disconnected. Something is cut. Because why? We slide unknowingly, maybe naiveness, but we slide into a spirit of self-centeredness. Sometimes we think because I'm a pastor, it's got to go on my way. Sometimes we think because I'm an employer, it's got to go on my way. Or sometimes we have church people thinking, well, I'm a lady, I can speak to, it's got to go on my way. [00:20:35] Self-centeredness, more could be added to that. The only way you see it is my way, and not the other one's way. Have I returned that and thought about, well, I'll put him first, let's see his idea, his opinion first, then mine. But too many times we've gotten self-centered, and God is not pleased with that. He abandons that. And you know what happens when I become self-centered? Too many times I've become, just like Proverbs writes, [00:21:06] what are the seven things that God hates, the seven abominations? When I begin to do things like that because I just see myself, I begin to sow discord, and it breaks my relationship one with another. It happens in the home. It happens in the church. It happens in the community. Who do you think God is at this? When we slide into that self-centeredness Because we have broken the closeness that we should have I'm lost in his love [00:21:38] Can you get that this evening? That song we just sang When I'm lost in his love There's a relationship one with another There's a relationship with God I don't see myself I see what Jesus did Breaking the association of what I had promised because of a disconnection. Too many people have cut the connection for thinking I'm right. [00:22:09] They might have been. There might be errors of right. Like the Amish man, he wanted discipline. He was right. He perhaps could have disciplined his son. But was it right? Sometimes we as congregations, because of our culture, not only that, our upbringing, but not only that, let's look into the Bible. We break a relationship because we think I'm right and he's wrong. He might be wrong and I might be right, but how do I go down through the rail of life? [00:22:41] Can I take hold of his hand and try to iron out things down, down the road, so to speak? Relationships is very important. God doesn't want unison. Now wait. You might say, Harvey, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're not on track. God doesn't want unison. To where we're all the same. You know what? God didn't make us all the same. There's not one of us in here that are all the same. We're all unison. [00:23:11] Same ways, think same, dress same, act same. No. God is not asking for unison. But he's asking from us for harmony That's the key Could you preserve that in your relationship? Could you put that in your fireproof box, so to speak? Of working together in harmony because of the differences There's going to be differences in Fairhaven There's going to be differences up here in Rosewood as well There's differences [00:23:42] Because we're different But what God wants is harmony Can I give you a little bit of an example to draw what I mean? How many of us like music? Well, I think all of us like to sing. It sounded beautiful this evening, but not all of us can sing bass. Not all of us can sing tenor, soprano, or alto or any of the others. You know what? We don't all sing in unison that way, but we sing in harmony. That's what God is saying. [00:24:13] When I love one another as myself, I see others, and we work together in harmony, not to break a relationship, but to create a relationship, one with another, like music. What is more beautiful when we harmonize, when we harmonize? If I was trying to sing soprano, it wouldn't sound good, because I'm not created that way. When we work together in harmony, that's what I'm trying to say. [00:24:46] Harmony is important. Very important. What God wants is the best, that I may do my best in working toward the relationship the best we know how, or what I'm capable of doing. Have you fireproofed harmony in your relationship? Have you tried to preserve it by understanding that there are differences and need to trust each other accordingly? [00:25:20] I'm not saying we should tolerate sin, that's not what I'm saying. If you say that, if you think that, you're thinking, you're not following my thought. But to create a broken relationship is to do nothing, not work in harmony. But in the church, in the home, in the community, if we can harmonize, I might not see it exactly like you see it, or vice versa, but I'll work with you. I'll go down through the rails of life, holding your hand as well, hoping down the end we can work together, maybe more of a peaceful way. [00:25:51] But not drop it, and break it, and have nothing at the end. Another thing I'd like to share this evening Unbroken Relationship Too many people keep scores Too many people keep scores I remember a young man Oh no, I shouldn't say young man Let's say it this way I remember in one counter some years back That Dan and Bea, Debbie and I were to contact somebody [00:26:24] And so we did And this man had a book In his little black book He wrote down things that happened to this church and this church and this church And this person and this person He kept record of it He kept score of it And finally Dan and I said, throw that book away If you want a good relationship with Jesus Christ and one another Forget about keeping score How are you with that person? What's your relationship with that person rather than keeping score of what's happening? [00:26:59] Too many people want to have a good relationship, but they keep score. You know what? She did this, and he did this, and we go on and on and on. Keeping score, that's not God's way. Can I share that this evening with a burden on my heart? To keep score is to close that book, burn it. Don't try to remember all the faults. I got too many of my own. Put that in a fireproof box. Preserve that. Can I say that? Too many people keep score and they don't have that love and respect. [00:27:32] They're not lost in that love, trying to help someone to victory. By lack of taking hold of each other's hand, love and respect, and we throw each other off the rail. There seem to be so many differences and yet it's not sometimes it's not God's way to have a relationship with the home because of differences or in the job or in the church, in the community or whatever because there's a lack of love and respect. [00:28:05] This evening yet I'd like to show a little diagram. Would you do something to yourself this week? If you have a problem with a relationship, I don't know you. I know you, but I don't know you. I know myself. But if you have a problem with a relationship, look at this little diagram. It's just a crude little illustration. Down here, put yourself down here. My commitment. And as this triangle goes up, put the name of the person you have a hard time with a relationship. [00:28:40] Put him up there, right on the top. On the outside of you, this diagram, this triangle, what I say and what I do. Write that down. But first of all, my commitment. When I build my relationship, when I keep a hold of those hands, I go down through the rails of life. I see less of myself and I see, as it points up to the one I'm trying to build, as I grow up the ladder. Or up this triangle, so to speak. [00:29:10] I see less of myself. I see less self-centeredness. I see more love and respect. I see more harmony. That's what happens. But if you don't think it works, just try it. Inside this triangle, write down things that you want to do different when you see that. Suppose, and Marvin is my next door neighbor, but Marvin doesn't live far from me. What if I had a, just an example, what if I had a problem with Marvin? [00:29:40] Let me write things down inside that triangle how I can build a better relationship with Marvin for an example. It's going to work. If you have a problem with your pastor, put your pastor's name up there. Pastor, if you have down here, you have a problem with a laity, put that name up there. And inside, not on the outside, but what I say and what I do on the inside, write things down. That will create a better relationship as I meet that person. [00:30:11] It's going to work. Because why? My relationship with God is also increasing. That's why. One of the reasons. Try that if you have a problem. Now, just a little bit more. As I write down things, I want to commit myself to build a better relationship as we walk down through the rails of life. A few things. I'd like to mention just a few things. Number one, this is not in order whatsoever. [00:30:46] But one thing I like to do when you build relationships, have you ever just stopped and noticed the two things? Listening and understanding. I wish more of us pastors would sometimes just listen and try to understand. I wish more of the church people would just listen to what the pastor is saying and understand. I wish the employer would do that same thing, would just listen to what the employee is saying and vice versa, the employer is saying why, maybe. [00:31:21] In other words, that's more could be it. But understand and listen to each other what's important in your life. Number two, by respecting each other, honor, Romans 11, honor, Philippians chapter 2, placing somebody higher than myself, just do that, you may look at that person and say, oh, why did he do that again, or why did she do that again, forget about that part, where am I going to place him in my relationship? [00:31:51] If I'm here to help and I put my arms together with that person, it may be a person that is a little hard to work with. Do it. It works relationship. Communication. Encouraging each other by your words and by your deeds, by what I say, by what I do. Communication. Practice what we preach, so to speak. I'd like to just read a little bit something when I think about communication. Andrew Carnegie said like this, something happened in his life. [00:32:33] He was a man that had a lot of money. But he says by putting out the positiveness when I think about communication. He says a reporter once asked Andrew Carnegie, the great man of the present generation, why he hired 43 millionaires to work for him. Carnegie pointed out that those men were not millionaires when he hired them. The reporter then asked, How do you develop these men to become so valuable to you that you pay them so much money? [00:33:07] Carnegie replies back, People are developed the same way gold is mined. It says, when gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold. But you don't go into the mine looking for dirt, you go looking for gold. Too many people in communication, I was going to say all they see, but a lot they see is just the bad things. When you look at me, all you think is maybe some bad things, look for a little bit of gold in me. To build relationships, put this in your fire, look for the good of each other. [00:33:41] That builds relationships. and whatever, the four things I mentioned, four or five things, the home, church, whatever. Look for the good of each other. Like yesterday at the wedding, when Brother Ernest was preaching, he said so much of when you look at the value of each other, husband and wife, he was pointing to the wedding ceremony, but said look at the good of each other. He said, well, there's one person who like, I forget just how the story went on, but so much. [00:34:12] You couldn't say much good about him, so to speak. But all at once he said, somebody points out that he could whistle so good. Well, look for the good of each other. And there's just brought out, there's good in everyone. Don't look for the dirt. Look for the good and keep on holding hands to fight the victory. Number four, forgiveness. Forgiveness, and when I say forgiveness, that means don't keep score of the next person, the church. [00:34:44] Don't keep score. Forgive. Another one, five, is appreciation for each other. Small things go a long ways, you know, in building relationships. Saying thank you, I'm sorry, honestly, I love you. How many times have we said this among ourselves in the church? Or appreciated in some other form or words that you could put wherever the occasion may fit. But so many times we don't show our appreciation for each other. [00:35:18] Put that maybe in your list. The last one I just wrote down, there's more. Spend time with each other. Spend time. Husband and wife and family, spend time. Employers, if you've got a gripe about your employee, spend a little time. See why he has a gripe, or vice versa. If you have a business in the community, spend a little time. Why are the people complaining that I'm a little shady person out there? Spend a little time. Observe. Spend a little time. [00:35:50] We're on the job as well. Spend a little time, church, pastors, all of us. When I say that, I mean myself, first of all. Spend a little time together. As we look into relationships, is it important now as we look into relationships, is it important? The key to restoring relationship is not to keep score, can I say that again? But to build each other in love and respect. [00:36:20] Another thought. Let us fireproof, preserve it, our relationship one with another. So that, you know, I don't let somebody get destroyed because of my wrong attitudes. You know, and sometimes my heart aches when I see people go the wrong way. They left the church. They left the home because of wrong attitudes, wrong actions. And where are they going? [00:36:51] And eternity is coming because of the wrong relationships. preserve them, fireproof the relationship one with another so they don't get lost as we go down through the rails of life. Shall we bow for prayer? Eternal Father, we thank you for the blessings of Christian people. We thank you for your word as well that's recorded in the Gospels, in your inspired word [00:37:23] that we should love each other Now, love each other, Lord, we know it doesn't mean that we can tolerate sin in any form. But we have love and respect. We harmonize even in difficulties and differences. Oh, Lord, we just pray for the congregation here at Rosewood and Fairhaven and wherever you may be from this evening. As we go down through the rails of life, Lord, may you give us the grace to reach out [00:37:57] to take a hold of someone else's hand and walk with them through the rails you know the path is narrow and straight the rails are straight too and narrow so we need each other and first of all, Lord, we need you for that grace to do so forgive us, O Lord, for we have failed and have neglected Perhaps not building our relationship as we should one with another In the home, in the church, in the community [00:38:29] Because we lost sight of you, Lord We became that person of self-centeredness And we lost track of the value of a person Forgive us, O Lord Be with us and direct us this evening And bless us with a good night's rest That we may have the assurance, the blessed assurance that we're going to be lost in your love by working in your kingdom. In Christ's name we pray with thanksgiving. Amen.