Gentleness

[00:00:00] This audio sermon is provided by AnabaptistSermons.com and may be freely copied and distributed. You may not sell or edit this sermon. Our prayer is that you would be blessed by this ministry. Good morning again. I don't think I said good morning to quite everybody. I didn't preach three weeks ago. I couldn't talk. [00:00:48] So this morning I'm praising the Lord that I can sing. For real, praising the Lord. Do you know what it's like not being able to sing? It's terrible. Do you know what it's like? No, very funny, LeVon. I thought that I would preach the sermon that I had, was going to three weeks ago, and yesterday the Lord changed my mind. Or maybe it was a little bit on Friday, actually, but it was mostly yesterday. [00:01:23] Okay, this sermon comes from my own failures. So I almost feel like I don't have a right to be up here to talk on this subject. I want to talk about gentleness. It kind of goes along with the verse that's been stuck in my head for quite a while, and that is 1 John 2, verse 6. [00:02:01] He who says he abides in him ought himself also to walk just as he walked. 2 Timothy 2, verse 24 says, A servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient in humility. There's more I want to turn to later in that scripture. And maybe this message is mostly to the men, but not necessarily. [00:02:40] and it may tend to put us to sleep because it's just gentleness. What's the big deal with gentleness? But it's a fruit of the Spirit. If we have the Holy Spirit, we will be gentle. And here at church I can be pretty gentle. Well, I love hugging children. But you really are who you are when you're all by yourself or when you're at home. [00:03:18] When the church, when the community can't see you, that's who you are. And I don't think that my children would say that I am so gentle. Maybe sometimes they would. So I'm not always gentle. Maybe I don't hit anybody. And I don't. I used to pinch. Huh? [00:03:51] And I'm not here to stand up and tell you all about my failures, But I want us to think about gentleness, and I want us to look at how the Holy Spirit is gentle. I want us to look at how us as fathers lead our homes with gentleness. I first of all want to look at Scripture. [00:04:28] And then I'll talk maybe in some practical terms a little bit. In 2 Timothy chapter 2, starting in verse 20. But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work. [00:05:01] Flee also youthful lusts, but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, and those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, and in humility. [00:05:33] A servant of the Lord is to be gentle to all, not just the children at church, not somebody else's children, not everybody that you work with at work, that includes your children and your wife. Here is David. There's a verse in Psalms 18. I think, maybe I wrote it down. I don't think I did. [00:06:20] Psalms 18.35, the last part. David said, Your gentleness has made me great. And maybe we think of gentleness as being kind of feminine. That's what girls do. I don't know if you guys think of that that way. But that's not true. Here David, a man of war, realized that God's gentleness has made him great. [00:06:53] God is gentle. Look at his mercy. Heard some testimony this morning about God's mercy on our lives. I wanted to read the fruits of the Spirit, Galatians 5. I'll start at verse 16. I say then, walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh. And these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. [00:07:26] As we read Scripture, I would really like for us to listen to the Holy Spirit and what He is saying to our lives. Let's not look around at everybody else because it's really easy for me. I don't know why it's like that, but for some reason I think, well, this guy has a problem in this area and this guy has a problem in this area and this girl and whatever. That is wrong. Scripture is for me. I'm not to be saying, hey, Justin has a problem in being gentle. So I'm talking to Justin. No, that's not right. I'm talking to myself. And as we listen to scripture, what is God saying to you? What's he saying to me? What's he saying to you as we read? If it helps to follow along, great. [00:08:15] Verse 18 And if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, sinners, drunkenness, revelries, and the like, of which I tell you beforehand, just as I told you in times past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. [00:09:01] So if I have selfish ambitions, I'm not going to inherit the kingdom of God. Verse 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. And if we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. [00:09:38] What's another word for gentleness? Synonyms. That's a pretty big word for me. It means the same. Synonyms. I wrote down sensitive. I even looked it up. I think some of these come from the dictionary, but I thought of some too. Sensitive, mild, meek, soft, and you know, when I'm reading through these, as I was writing them down, I had to ask myself, am I soft? Am I mild-tempered? [00:10:09] Not rough, harsh, severe, tame, I think the word was docile, I was thinking of animals Peaceful, merciful, soothing, soft manner, mildness of temper, sweet And in the same family there is meekness, humility, lowliness Do I have a sweet dispensation? No, sweet disposition Kindness [00:10:41] In 1 Peter You don't have to turn there In 1 Peter chapter 2 Verse 18 He's talking to servants He's saying Be submissive Servants be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. [00:11:15] So it's quite obvious to see here. I'm not going to say, look, we need to obey our masters. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just strictly mainly pointing out that the opposite of good and gentle is what? Harsh. Maybe you all knew that already. But I thought it was kind of neat how even Scripture makes it very clear, very plain. The opposite of gentle, froward, harsh, not willing to yield, or comply with what is required, disobedient, perverse, [00:12:06] Now, I'm not talking about that we need to be willing to yield, not in our authority that God has given us. I hope you know what I mean here. I'm talking about relationally willing to yield, saying, hey, I was wrong. In our authority, we're to stand strong. [00:12:36] God has given us authority to lead, to be men, to lead our families, to lead our wives. But when it comes to relationships, let's be gentle. I even had to think of, when you think of gentle, what animal do you think of? You think of an eagle? [00:13:09] Oh, Jeremy likes eagles. Sorry, Jeremy, it doesn't mean anything. What do you think of? I had to think of a dove or even a lamb. If a dove would fly, you're sitting on the front porch, Your porch, maybe five foot wide, and an eagle would fly in there. I think I'd run. I would be freaked out. If a dove would come land on the front porch, on the railing right there, just four feet away from you, it would be nice. [00:13:39] That's nice. Look at it. Look at its eyes. But this eagle, wow. So I was thinking of an animal. and I didn't look it up but maybe somebody can correct me but back in the Old Testament if they couldn't afford a lamb was it true that they were supposed to or that they could use a dove for a sacrifice? I don't remember. I'm not sure why I was thinking of that. I had to think of Jesus as a lamb [00:14:11] and we'll look in Revelations a little later too. In Isaiah chapter 42 I'll read 1 through 4. We see how Jesus is gentle and compassionate. Behold, my servant who I uphold, my elect one in whom my soul delights, I have put my spirit upon him. He will bring forth justice to the Gentiles. [00:14:44] He will not cry out, nor raise his voice, nor cause his voice to be heard in the street A bruised reed he will not break, and smoking flax he will not quench He will bring forth justice for truth, he will not fail, nor be discouraged Till he has established justice in the earth, and the coastlands shall wait for his law Here we see Jesus as being gentle. [00:15:17] In the New Testament, 1 Thessalonians 2, verse 7. I'll read maybe 6, 7, and 8. Um, Paul's talking here, and I like what he compares being gentle with. Nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, when we might have made demands as apostles of Christ. [00:15:55] But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. So affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us. Look how he uses the word affectionately and gentle as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. A couple of comments that I forgot to bring out in 2 Timothy where he's talking about being sanctified. [00:16:42] You know, us as fathers, for me myself, I need to cleanse myself. I need to allow the Holy Spirit to speak into my life and to see, you know, what is, you know, the Holy Spirit is so gentle. [00:17:16] How He speaks to us and how He convicts us. We don't want to dishonor God. We don't want to dishonor ourselves. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel of honor, sanctified. And then we're useful for the Master, prepared for every good work. Flee also, youthful lust, but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. [00:17:55] Do we have a pure heart this morning? Do I have a pure heart? A couple more in James. Chapter 3, verse 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, without hypocrisy. [00:18:33] I kind of, I wrote the verse again with some of my own words. It may not make sense, so I think maybe I'll just try to explain it. This wisdom, okay, as fathers, we got, and maybe you don't so much, Sometimes there's problems in the home. Sometimes there's disputes with your wife or disputes with your children. [00:19:09] And you pray for wisdom. Lord, what do we do? And, you know, I often pray for wisdom to lead my family. And God, I feel like God is calling me first to be pure. And then peaceable. I wrote in quiet and inoffensive, then gentle, soft and mild, yielding, not rigid. Now again, I'm talking about relationally. [00:19:44] Easy to be entreated. Entreated is to be persuaded, convinced, not stubborn. Sour. Am I sour? Full of good fruit. And how am I to be full of good fruit? That's only if I'm abiding in the right vine, if I'm abiding in Jesus Christ. Or am I abiding in my hobbies and time wasters and work and YouTube and Facebook? [00:20:25] Do I have good fruit in both life and in heart? Or do I just bake cookies and shovel Jeremy's driveway so I did a good work, you know, it's good fruit, you know. Or is it really in my heart? Without partiality, loving everyone, loving all. Embracing all good things and rejecting all evil. Philippians 4 verse 5 says, Let your moderation be known to all men. [00:20:56] So it says in King James, in New King James, it says gentleness. I don't know if I ever knew what moderation meant until, I don't know, it was probably a year ago. So practically, what does all this mean? What is it for me? What is it for you? You know, Kenya, when we talk to Kenya, we tell her no. [00:21:32] You know, usually it's, Kenya, no! You know, very stern. That's the only way she'll listen. Why is that? It's because that's how we trained her. It's all tone of voice. That's the only way she'll listen. I'm not sure why we trained her that way. It would be a whole lot nicer just to say, can you know? And same way with our children. Sometimes I notice that the only way that my boys will listen, Brittany will listen, is if I yell. What's up with that? [00:22:06] And I've even told them, why do I, almost blaming them. Well, I train them that way. Are we insensible? Is that the right word that I want? Insensitive. Insensitive. Yes. Insensitive. That's the word I wanted. What does insensitive mean? Insensitive is when I don't think about how I make my children feel. I don't even think about it. [00:22:36] That's being insensitive. I don't even think about how I make my wife feel. No consideration for their feelings. And we justify it by saying, well, I've told, not often, but a few times I've told my boys, they say, well, why not, Dad? Why can't I go? Because I said so. Just do what I say, because I said so. [00:23:13] And there's some truth in that. But what am I saying with my voice? And I know I've talked about it before in times past about my tone of voice. And I'm just putting it out there. You know, I don't know if I even really thought of it as being gentle or not being gentle. But it's definitely not being gentle. [00:23:45] I don't feel like I am gentle. So maybe I'm gentle to a few select people or children. It's not right for me not to be gentle in my voice to my children, to my wife. I wonder how I made them feel. I wonder how I made my wife feel by when I said that in that way. You know, we probably know how she feels because all of a sudden she gets quiet. [00:24:17] Well, that's okay because the wife is supposed to be quiet and submissive. But that's how we know how she feels. She's quiet. We just trampled all over her feelings. The boys finally shut up and said, okay. They don't want to talk anymore. Why? Because I'm stepping all over them. Not listening to them. Let's not justify our harsh leadership. [00:24:58] Or maybe it's mothers in child training. I'm the mother. You're going to listen to me. Well, there's some truth in that. Let's not throw everything out because that's what I do a lot of times. Because I'm so mean in my... Well, then, oh, you can just do whatever you want. No, that's not right. We can't just throw out all of our authority. We still have our authority. But relationally, how are we being leaders? [00:25:35] It's not okay to raise our voice and to get mad and to get angry and to cut them down. I believe that God has to deliver me of that. We must be delivered of that. And believe that God can deliver us. We wonder, why is there such an angry spirit in our house? I wonder, maybe you don't. [00:26:07] I think it's because I brought it in there. The Holy Spirit is gentle. Should there ever be a fight, I think you can fight nice too sometimes. And then I've heard people say, maybe not in so many words, But they might say, oh, but you don't know my wife. [00:26:41] You know, you don't know what I have to live with. I don't think anybody would say that here. But then that person definitely doesn't know the power of the Holy Spirit either. You know, we still have that authority. And I feel like there's been times when I don't take that authority. and then there's other times when I abuse that authority. There needs to be a balance. [00:27:12] Do I have a gentle disposition? You know, do I say to my children, do I make them feel that it's safe to come talk to me? Or if they come talk to me, will I just shoot them down? Anything they say. That was dumb. What did you do that for? And I really believe that that's why there's so many young people that hate their father with a passion. Just hate their father. [00:27:48] God is not a God with a big stick. Why do I want to make it look like God is this God with a big stick when really He's gentle and loving and full of compassion, our Heavenly Father? Where do they get that feeling? It's from me, from us as parents. And, you know, maybe you're one that you, you know, we all have hurts from our parents and from our fathers. [00:28:27] You know, I don't want to down my dad, but the time that made me cry the most was, I think it was after I had preached at Salem. And we were supposed to go over to their place for supper, or I mean for dinner. And he came and gave me a hug and said, I'm so proud of you. You know, how many people here could raise their hand and say, [00:28:59] I know what it feels like to have my father proud of me. My father would say, I love you. I think it's just not words. I love you, hey goodnight, I love you, go off. To take them by their shoulders and say, I love you. To feel that love. And as we lead, you know, mothers lead too. [00:29:38] When daddy's not around, the mother has to be there to lead their family. And as we as parents lead, especially as fathers, as we lead, why not be a shepherd like Jesus Christ? A gentle, loving shepherd, leading and guiding in love. Not, I got the authority around here, you are going to listen to what I say. Maybe even with your teeth clenched. [00:30:12] That's terrible. A father's tender, gentle love prepares his children to relate to their Heavenly Father. I believe that with all my heart. One other verse in Isaiah, chapter 40. Verse 9 and 10 [00:30:42] Behold, the Lord God shall come with a strong hand, and His arm shall rule for Him. Behold, His reward is with Him, and His work before Him. He will feed His flock like a shepherd. He will gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young. You know, I like that. [00:31:14] Here we have a Heavenly Father who will lead us and guide us. And in turn, we need to walk as Christ walked. And be gentle. I kind of wanted to sing a song, not myself, but as there was a song when we left for church as a wedding song. [00:31:50] I don't even know the title, but maybe when I sit down we could sing it then later. The chorus, I wanted to start at the latter part of the song where it says, Our prayer is that our love grows in you. You blessed our lives, you saved us inside, and together we want to serve you. So Lord, use our lives as we journey from here, and make our love strong, yet gentle and true. That is my prayer for myself. I feel like, you know, we talked about conviction last week, Jim. [00:32:26] You know, sometimes I don't see it. Sometimes my wife and my children have to scream it in my face. Not really, but they have to make mention of it. And so, you know, I'm also asking your prayers because I know that I'm not, I don't want to bad mouth my dad. I don't think my dad knows any better. That's how his dad was. I remember Grandpa plain as day. Grandpa was the same way. [00:33:04] And maybe your dad was that way. Your grandpa was that way. But I feel like I don't have to pass that on. What do I want to pass on to my children? I want them to walk with Christ. I want them to be gentle and true. And I feel like, you know, I believe that God can cleanse me of that. [00:33:40] And we don't have to pass that on to our children. Let's pray. Lord, I thank you for your word. Lord, I thank you for your gentle spirit, Lord. I thank you for Jesus who is gentle. Thank you, Lord, for being gentle to us. Lord, I pray that you would open up our eyes. Open up our eyes and help us to see who you really are and who you want us to be. [00:34:18] Help us to know the areas of our lives that we need to cleanse. We need to allow you to cleanse us so that we can be pure, that we can honor and glorify you in everything that we do and say. In Jesus' name, Amen.