Headship Basics

[00:00:00] This audio sermon is provided by AnabaptistSermons.com and may be freely copied and distributed. You may not sell or edit this sermon. Our prayer is that you would be blessed by this ministry. Please turn to Genesis chapter 3. Genesis chapter 3. We're going to just read the one verse, verse 16, a bit of background. [00:00:35] We are here at the beginning of time. God has created a perfect creation and man has fallen. and a result of that fall, not only the damage to man in separation from God in terms of full fellowship, spiritual death, but also the curse of God upon physical things relating to man [00:01:20] and the creation in general, the result of weeds and vessels and pain, suffering, change of position for the serpent. And the Lord speaks to woman in verse 16 and says unto the woman, he said, [00:01:55] I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception. In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Let's bow together in prayer. We have gathered together, Father, to share the truth of your word, [00:02:38] to recognize our brokenness and inadequacy, and to say to you that you're the only wise God, our Father. We love you. We adore you. And we ask that you will continue to speak to our hearts as we are open to you and to each other. [00:03:15] We pray in Jesus' name. Amen. We're continuing this morning in the series of annual messages for the sake of accountability on the part of the ministry. and both ways. Accountability to say some things on a regular basis, cover some things [00:03:46] and accountability hopefully in not covering those things too repetitiously. And I would like to consider the matter of headship which will lay some foundation for a later study The matter of headship and those who worked in preparing the structure for BMA strongly agreed to place that as a separate item from the veiling. [00:04:30] And I think that was a wise thing to do. Both are clearly taught in the Scripture. One flows from the other, but the matter of headship is really the issue. We sometimes get hung up on the applications because we don't understand the foundational issues. And when you consider the matter of headship, this, as we said along the lines in previous studies, this is usually a male disorder. [00:05:20] If it is not being done in a biblical fashion, the responsibility falls on the men. Occasionally, women may be so aggressive that they take the thing totally out of order all by themselves. But that is infrequent. [00:05:54] Usually, if the matter of headship is out of order, the responsibility falls squarely upon the men. And I would like to say that up front. We're going to be talking about male leadership somewhat. I, you have to permit me a little lightness once in a while at least, and as we were giving the title of this sermon to the secretary, I said, now, what would be the easiest for the sisters to handle? [00:06:38] Shall we call it male leadership, or shall we call it headship, or what shall we call it? And she thought probably we should avoid male leadership. and I would agree. It does include that, however. And when headship problems exist, they exist because [00:07:08] usually men have shirked their responsibility, to put it very clearly. Men tend to be a bit regressive in these areas, pull back into their own world, act irresponsibly, those sorts of things. This is a spiritual issue. [00:07:40] A man or a woman should respond to other men or women on the basis of their personal relationship to Jesus Christ. And if that is where it ought to be, these other things will be more easily resolved. [00:08:12] Now we have read here about the results of the fall. You may think this is a strange verse of scripture to look at when we talk about headship issues. But I believe this is where it fell apart. In the curse following the fall. When man sinned, he died spiritually and he literally and his wife with him fell apart compared to the original model which was perfect and without sin. [00:09:03] When sin entered the human race through Adam and Eve, things radically changed. Dr. Barnhouse used to say it's when you look at brokenness as a result of the fall. In other words, when you look at pre-Genesis 3 versus post-Genesis 3, in pre-Genesis 3 you have perfection. A man working with all of his resources in harmony with the wife that God gave him. [00:09:41] They were in total harmony with each other, totally complementary in that relationship. But then, after the fall, post-Genesis 3, Barnard said it's a bit like walking through a burned-out house. Where the second floor has fallen into the first floor and all the timbers are burned and it's sort of still a house. You can see parts of it that indicate what the original was like, but it's a broken mess. [00:10:23] You only see the remnants of what went before. And I think that does give us a picture of what happened when sin came. That there are pieces of the original, charred though they may be, but things have been rearranged and it's just a heap of brokenness. And so we look at each other and we see good things. [00:10:58] We see things that are godly. even in our redeemed state. And when we see things that are truly godly, we see that remnant of the original. But there's a lot more to do to get the house back in shape. And it won't be back in shape totally until we're with the Lord. There will always be indications of the brokenness and the burned outness. [00:11:30] that are obvious to us. So while there was perfection, there came brokenness. And with the brokenness came the curse. And that's what we would like to particularly zero in on and then amplify in the second part of the verse. As the Lord pronounces the curse, in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. [00:12:06] If I understand the scope of the creation account correctly, there would have been children anyway. It wasn't that she suddenly is going to have children as a result of sin. coming, but rather that in sorrow she will have children. In pain, discomfort, travail, that came after the fall or with the fall. [00:12:48] And then there is this very last part of the verse. And I want to give you an interpretation that I believe is the right one. We will not be unkind to each other if you share another one. But I believe in the use of the words that we have here, this is the best. Understanding of the rest of verse 16. [00:13:21] And it says, And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Desire can just as easily be translated control or domination. And if you will look with me, for example, at chapter 4, verse 7, the identical phrases are used about something else. [00:14:00] Genesis 4, 7, speaking to Cain, God says, Sin lieth at the door, and unto thee shall be his desire. In other words, to control you. That's what sin is about. And thou shalt rule over him. [00:14:33] In other words, he's telling Cain he should have victory over sin. He should grind sin under His heel. If you understand that that way, then it would be, of course, obvious that it helps us to understand verse 16 of chapter 3. And what I believe the Scripture is saying here is that as a part of the curse [00:15:05] following the fall, Woman's natural sinful desire will be to control and dominate men. And men will respond to that. It says, and he shall rule over you. They will respond to that with unkindness, with even abuse. [00:15:37] Seeking victory. Conquering. Now, if that is the correct understanding of the passage, then we have laid the foundation for the situation that we so often find ourselves in. that either in the headship matter man becomes recessive and quiet [00:16:11] and takes care of his work outside the home and lets everything else be operated by the woman of the house as happens in some cases or, in response, he becomes a tyrant. That's sort of the two extremes that a man is inclined toward. I want to hasten to say that men cannot blame women for their bad responses. [00:16:46] We, as men, are responsible for our response. So we can't say, she tried to push me around, tried to run my life, so I really stood on her. We can't do that, because we are ultimately responsible to God for the care of those companions that He has given to us, and of those daughters that He has given to us. And so we dare not play the blame game. [00:17:17] But in our sin, we as men will tend to be tyrants, usually, and especially when provoked. And in their sin, women will tend to finagle, manipulate, control, those sorts of things. And I've yet to meet a sister that would not, in the quietness of a conversation, admit that that tendency probably is within her. [00:17:57] So let's not play games. Let's just play and admit that that's pretty much how it is. The women then tend to be what we call matriarchs in their sin, that is. It's not righteousness, but the women in their sin will tend to be matriarchs. That is, they exercise control, they involve themselves in what we call micromanagement, [00:18:31] and man tends to respond to that very negatively. In other words, as you counsel people, and I'm not for going way out on long limbs about counseling observations, and yet many of us have made observations and they're so consistent that I think I can say this. It is consistent with observing people and irregular types of behavior. [00:19:07] that it has become nearly an axiom. You find a man who is tyrannical and abusive and you will find somewhere a woman behind him who has been very controlling. May not be his wife, may be his mother, may be his grandmother, may be his sister. [00:19:40] And that is such an axiom that in the criminal justice system, for example, if they see a man who has been abusive with women, raped women, and all those things, they go looking for a key woman somewhere in his life. That's just very common. And so as you evaluate this thing in its decay and in its brokenness, it's important, I believe, to be aware of what the Scripture is saying here. [00:20:16] That just as weeds, which are bad things, came with a curse, thorns and thistles, And just as work became unpleasant, whereas before the curse it would have been great fun, just as childbirth becomes travail, whereas before the curse it would have been the height of enjoyment, all those things, so in the matter of headship there's a great deal of pain and suffering as far as sin is concerned. [00:20:55] When sin makes itself evident, there's a great deal of pain and suffering. As we look at the headship matter, I think we need to lay this down in terms of a background. And notice the difference between firmness on the part of the head and abuse. There's a big difference. [00:21:27] Notice the difference between a matriarch who micromanages, who finagles, who controls, and a mother who nurtures. Night and day difference in those things. And until we understand that, I don't think we can understand what headship is designed by God to be. Look back in Genesis 2 and verse 18. [00:22:06] The Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone. I will make a help meet for him a helper or as the word that we've been working on on pronunciation in the memory work at school one comparable I think we've agreed is the right pronunciation comparable we usually say to him [00:22:36] A compliment, one who fulfills him, completes him. See, there's headship. Woman's role was to complete him. He is incomplete. Man is incomplete without woman. It obviously stands to reason woman is incomplete without him. But primarily it goes, man is incomplete without her. [00:23:08] She completes him, fulfills him as an individual. That's pre-fall. That's before the fall. That was the design in headship. And when Paul talks about headship in the epistles, he refers back to that creation order. Now, this does not mean that men and women are somehow unequal. Men and women clearly taught in the Scripture are equal in terms of rank. [00:23:50] I mean, obviously they're biologically different and think differently often and various things of that sort. But, in terms of importance, shall we say, they are equal. It is not that man is superior and women are inferior. I know some of the liberation people talk about women being superior and men inferior. And, in some ways, they probably are. [00:24:21] But, overall, before God, they are equal. The issue is one of function. And in terms of that, one is given the responsibility of leadership. The other, the responsibility of supporting, enlarging, fulfilling. Those two are different. [00:24:55] One is not more important than the other. One cannot be done without the other. The equality thing is illustrated in the words of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 11 where he talks about the relationship between God and Christ. and we notice as you think about the relationship within the Godhead Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are equal [00:25:28] but function somewhat differently. Was the Lord Jesus Christ aware of what was coming when he came to Bethlehem? Born in Bethlehem of the Virgin, laid in a manger. Was he aware? I think so. I think he was aware from eternity. [00:26:01] Well, some people say that God had had a little conference within itself and figured out what they were going to do. That's probably a man's view of what happened there. But it is clear that he knew very well why he came, what he was to do, and he operated in a subjective or submissive role in that. And so he says in the garden, not my will, but thine be done. [00:26:35] There's submission, subjection. So he was equal, and yet he was submissive. He committed himself to the, shall we say, leadership. Doesn't really fit exactly, but leadership of God the Father. And do the Father's will. So if we make it in human terms, though we can't really do that with God, but if we were to do that for the sake of illustration, [00:27:11] God the Father provided leadership in that whole process. And God the Son followed that leadership. That's too humanizing for the immensity and sovereignty of God. But it gives us a little picture of what went on there. And what in turn then needs to go on between a man and his wife, between men and women. Men have a responsibility to provide loving yet firm leadership. [00:27:49] In the home, for the children, with a wife. And if the leadership is such as the Scripture would teach, the submission will not be a problem. Now, this mission, in other words, if things are recreated in the light of what salvation is to do, then we journey back toward Genesis 2. [00:28:28] We won't get there perfectly. We understand that because of the flesh. But we journey back toward Genesis 2 where the complement and the harmony and the intimacy were perfect. But she was still under Adam's headship before the fall. That's the creation order. [00:29:07] So, coming to the words of Christ, not my will, but thine be done. I would apply that to both men and women. Men have a responsibility to do the will of God and that will is that they provide leadership in the home, in the church, in the community. And women, in saying not my will but thine be done to God, [00:29:45] will take their role of fulfilling, completing, supporting, and they will take their role in submission. We have tended in pulpit ministry for several generations to hammer on this matter of submission without looking at the other part. [00:30:22] And we've left our sisters in a dire situation. They're commanded of God to be submissive to their husbands. And yet we have not given the commands of God to the husbands in terms of providing. loving leadership so the Apostle says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church gave himself for it and our husbands have been sometimes giving themselves for sports for their jobs or who knows what but not for their wives so the [00:31:11] The women have been sort of isolated in a sense. They wanted to follow the Lord, but they have not had the right example in the home many times to follow. Now, as you think about that in terms of the church, and we think about women in leadership, That is a hot-button issue in the American church today. It would seem to me that as we have looked at these issues today, [00:31:48] we can make some very quick applications. We'll look at one passage of Scripture. But the old kind of clever and humorous statement that you hear from some women My husband wears the pants in the family but I have a pair I don't know if you ever heard that or not What she's saying there is not just right The inference is if he doesn't do his job I will [00:32:21] And that is not biblical. But that is kind of how leadership has crept, women leadership has crept into the church. You know, the men, it is not that women have grabbed it necessarily, in some cases perhaps, but many times it's because the men haven't done their job. They have not provided leadership and they're busy with other things and the women have filled in. And then, as strange as it seems, when the women fill in, the men say, [00:32:56] Well, they're doing okay. Let them do it. And then the next thing that happens is, the men say, Well, that's just for the women, so I won't even go. And it actually started by the men not doing their job. And we need to be ready in the church as men to provide that loving, firm leadership. And the sisters need to be ready to support that, encourage that, and complete that. [00:33:33] Because men are not complete. The first man who was perfect in the sense of sinlessness wasn't complete. Did you get that from the scripture? I'm not sure how you can be perfect and not complete. But I think the perfect part was in terms of not being in sin. So, in the original creation, man wasn't complete by himself. [00:34:05] And so the sisters are needed. They're a part of the equation. But it is important, as we think about the matter of leadership, that men do not shirk their responsibility. And that they do not take the heavy-handed approach, which is also part of the curse, and drive, attempt to drive women. [00:34:36] I'm not sure how successful that can be, but it is leadership. It is pointing the way. It is not driving. It is not heavy-handed. It is loving leadership. Let's turn to 1 Timothy 2. 1 Timothy chapter 2 and verse 12 But I suffer, or allow not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. [00:35:17] For Adam was first formed, and then Eve. Now we're just going to dip into this passage. The context is important, but we will not take time to consider the context today. In terms of leadership, what does it mean to teach and usurp authority? The word teach here is the word that was used of the authoritative teaching in the synagogue. [00:35:49] And I believe that's either its principal or exclusive use in the New Testament. It was that type of teaching whereby the rabbi said, this is what the Bible says, therefore this is what you must do. In other words, it had authority attached to the teaching. It was not simply reading a list without comment. It had that authority attached to it. [00:36:21] And it would seem that the second part of verse 12 there where it says usurp authority is a further explanation of the word teach. And so women are not to be in that type of leadership where they speak with authority to men. That should not surprise us if you think of the Genesis Foundation. [00:37:00] And the word silence used twice here is what you do to a preacher who's in sin, is it not? I mean, we even use that term today. He was silenced. That means he no longer can stand before a congregation and preach with authority. So she is to be that way in relation to that question. [00:37:34] So in those areas of leadership, that would include authority over the congregation or over men. Probably not merely in authoritatively teaching the word, but in general ways as well. That is not to be the woman's role. If we understand that, in other words, it's a case where the woman is telling, commanding, directing, teaching forcefully how to live. [00:38:17] That is not her prerogative with men present. She can teach women that way, children that way, but not men. And again, it's an appeal to the creation order. So then we take it to the community. And this is merely an application. And it is not directly taught from the scripture. All I think the application would be obvious. [00:38:51] We ask the question, can a woman be the president of the United States? Well, if we said it that way, probably the answer is yes. She can. Should she be? And biblically, I believe the answer is no. If you ask me, will there be one? I'd probably have to say maybe. But as you think about what the Bible teaches in terms of the role of women, [00:39:28] It doesn't have to do with whether she could do the job. I have no doubt that some women could do that job of President of the United States very well. That's not the point. It has to do with the matter of headship and the creation order and what she is designed to do by God in terms of compliment, fulfill, complete, encourage, all of those sorts of things. [00:40:02] I will close with just a brief reference to my sister, whom I love very much, and who is, we are very close, probably unusually close, for brother and sister, They're just the two of us. And I watched her, in recent years, climb the ladder of corporate America. [00:40:34] Oh, she didn't get real high on the ladder, but she got up a ways. She managed a plant at one point with a hundred employees or more, I don't remember the exact number. and travels enough in corporate America that she's flown from around the United States from place to place in the food system, general foods. But I also watched my sister change during those years. [00:41:08] From a girl that we all knew, that you could look at sternly and see her cry. One of those children that didn't need many spankings. The cross look did it without further adjectives. I saw her move from that to a harsh, cross, at times foul-speaking individual. [00:41:54] And I've wondered if the two don't go somewhat hand in hand. If the kind and sweet spirit that God gives females doesn't change when they usurp a role for which they were not designed. They can do it. She ran the plant efficiently. [00:42:27] She can operate her portion of the company well and receive the accolades of men and walk into a room full of male executives and make her presence quite well felt. But my question is, what has it done to her? And the answer is not a pleasant one, in my view. [00:43:05] I warn the sisters, but I also encourage the brethren. Be the heads that God designed you to be. Not the angry men that tongue lashes, that abuses either with your mouth or your hands. No, kindly, but firm, providing support, leadership. As the Apostle Paul said, leading about a sister. [00:43:42] As he compared himself. This has been very foundational, even elementary, and yet we all need the reminder. We pray for the brothers here, that by the Holy Spirit you'll speak to us all. We might seriously take our responsibility of leadership. [00:44:15] and speak to the sisters here. They may seriously take their responsibility of encouragement, fulfillment, completion. We pray for the church that you will lead us and these things. [00:44:48] We ask these things in Jesus' name. Amen.