Passing on the Torch

[00:00:00] This audio sermon is provided by AnabaptistSermons.com and may be freely copied and distributed. You may not sell or edit this sermon. Our prayer is that you would be blessed by this ministry. It's a wonderful evening to be in the house of the Lord. Let's open our Bibles to 1 Timothy, the 6th chapter. I'd like to read a few verses from the 1 Timothy, the 6th chapter, then I'd like to tell you something that happened almost 65 years ago. [00:00:31] 1 Timothy 6, verse 20. O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust. I'm going to read it again. O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust. Seasons come and the years come and go, and sixty-five years passed. Today that desk is in our dining room at home. Of course, I'll never sell it. [00:01:03] I expect to give it to my young son, Benjamin Alex Yoder. You see, that middle-aged Amish woman doing the sanding was my grandmother, Elizabeth Graber Knapp. The wife of Joel Knapp, who was the great-great-grandson of Jackson Knapp, who was the forerunners of most of the Knapps that I know of, probably all of them. And that young Amishman who was cutting out the hearts was my father, David E. Yoder, son of Amos Yoder, buried somewhere around here in Grange County, I think. [00:01:51] That desk was a labor of love for his wife-to-be. Tonight we are benefiting from choices. I am benefiting from choices that these people made. The statement is God has no grandchildren. You've heard that, haven't you? What I think they're meaning by that is God, we come into the kingdom one by one by one by personal choices that we make. [00:02:25] God has no grandchildren. We are not grandfathered into the kingdom, if you understand what I mean. However, the choices they make made it easier for me to make choices that were good choices, right choices. Several things, I look at that desk almost every day. [00:03:08] It reminds me that I am a part of the ongoing cycle of life. Grandmother passed off the scene. Father has Alzheimer's, 88 years old. And now, see, it's my time. Now, those following me are going to have to make a decision. [00:03:41] Benjamin Alex is going to have the fact he has already made a decision, a personal decision to follow the Lord Jesus. He has lots of more decisions to make, doesn't he, at 12 years old. But you see, the choices I make and the choices I fail to make have affected my family. We can make tonight, we can make the, we can make a difference in their environment, in their atmosphere, in their settings. [00:04:13] And I can make it easier or harder for my, for those coming after me. Old Gypsy Smith, the old evangelist of years gone by, he stood by the coffin of his, he preached his daddy's funeral message. And he stood beside the coffin and he wept and he said, Daddy, Daddy, you made it so hard for me. You've made it so hard for me to go wrong. [00:04:44] He had a Christian daddy. And we can do the same, brethren. We can do the same, sisters. We obviously have a part to play. Tremendous part to play. Now we look at this word in chapter 6 of verse 20. Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust. In the Greek, parathiki, parathiki, literally meaning a deposit. [00:05:17] Timothy, keep that deposit. Keep that deposit, something of value there. The Living Bible says, Timothy, guard and keep that deposit which is entrusted to you. This is a word that has a sense of obligation about it. There's a sense of seriousness about this. There's an obligation, there's a duty. The mantle has been passed to you. Did I trust? And even today that word is used. [00:05:50] There's a real estate deal taking place. And the buyer says, I think I want that place. I'm sure enough about it that I'm going to give you a down payment. And the realtor says, thank you. And he says, I'll put it in a trust fund. This is a trust fund. This is in safekeeping. And when the deal, when we come, when the papers are ready, we'll take it out of the trust fund. It's a place of safekeeping. [00:06:21] Now, sometimes in the scriptures, sometimes children were called a paratheke in Bible times, a sacred trust. Now, the psalmist calls them in Psalm 127 or 128, Lo, I think I'm right, lo, children are an heritage of the Lord. I'm not sure if it's paratheke there, but you would get the idea there that this is a solemn deposit. [00:06:56] This is a trust that the Lord has entrusted to us, a heritage of the Lord. Well, indeed, if God blesses a home with children and they've been prayed into the world, they have been prayed for, they have been nurtured, they have been loved, they have been advised, they have been spanked, And they had been presented to the Lord and the church for use in the kingdom. Now there's a beautiful story, and we won't turn to it tonight, but it's in 1 Samuel 1, verses 27 and 28. [00:07:33] And this was this young lady, Hannah. She prayed for a son, you remember that? and she made a bargain there with the Lord, if we can use that term, to the Lord, if you give me a son, I'll return him to you for your use. You can read about it in 1 Samuel 1. So sometimes children are considered a paratheke or a sacred trust. [00:08:09] They ought to be at least to us dwelled to tonight. Christians should also consider their faith a sacred trust. We are tonight not only possessors of the faith, but we are also trustees of the faith. That is, that which we have received, we must be diligent to pass on. Psalm 78. We do not only have a duty to ourselves to keep the faith, but also to our children's children. [00:08:50] We are living in, I think, perilous times, and I think also careless times. There's a lot today, there's a lot of let go, let go, let go. Nothing really matters, let go. No! I just want to utter a word of caution. We have a sacred trust. Let's be careful. Let's be careful that we have a, that we, and guard this deposit, this faith that has been trusted to us. [00:09:26] Let's guard these children, if the Lord has blessed us with children, and that this message has been inspired, no doubt, by the faces of these little people that I have seen in this congregation. May God bless each one of them. I have always prayed for my children, and you have too, I'm sure, if you have children. I am now not only praying for my children, I sense an obligation to pray for my grandchildren. [00:10:01] About 20 or 25 years ago, probably about 25 years ago, I was a young father and a young preacher. There was two young men in our congregation, about 18 or 19 years old, who had rebelled against God. They had rebelled against the church and rebelled against their parents. It was given my, I was given the assignment to attempt to meet with them and plead with them one evening and so I did and I took that calling seriously. The best I remember, I fasted that day and had an appointment to meet these two men that evening. [00:10:41] These two young men had very little time for any advice that I was trying to share with them this evening. It ran off their backs like water off a duck's back. And I left that evening, I was in despair. I felt guilty for not being able to do more. I felt sad. I felt horrible. Not only for them and their future, but for also the great sadness that they were taking their parents through. [00:11:22] And I remember that evening, I drove back our long lane back there and parked the car and I think I had, Rose and I had three little babies at the time, three younger children, maybe four. But I remember going up into their little bedroom and at that time they all four slept in one room. And I remember shining the flashlight on each of them a little bit and I said, Lord, is there, and my heart just broke, is there any chance for these dear young children? [00:11:59] In this wild and wicked world that's just beckoning, is there any chance for these little children? And I knelt down and I've prayed beside their beds. I'm still praying for my children 25 years later. If one of my children would... [00:12:30] Oh, it would break my heart. And I'm not sure tonight if some of you have children who maybe are rejecting God, And I'm not here tonight to, I just simply want to encourage you to pray and fast and pray and plead with your children. I know of a man, he said he had a young, a daughter of his had died, a godly young lady, and he said he was there by the coffin and the man came through. [00:13:11] And he had a young daughter who had rejected God and rejected the Lord's teaching and wooing and had gone out in the world and rebelled. And this man came through that had a rebellious daughter and he told my friend who was standing beside the body of his godly young daughter. And he said, you know what? I would trade places with you. [00:13:45] I'd trade places with you. If I would know my daughter was in heaven tonight, and even though she would be gone in this life, oh, he said, I'd gladly trade places with you. I think and I pray for my children every day. [00:14:17] And most of the decisions that I make, I think of my children. This very weekend, my wife had been gone for three or four days, three days, and our three youngest were at home with an older sister. I have an older daughter, 30 years old, at home as well. But we were debating whether Rose should come this weekend. And Rose said, well, the home's been a little unsettled [00:14:52] because I've been gone and these two boys, these three boys have been home and I think I better stay home. And maybe we ought to just sit together and we'll just stay home for this weekend and maybe it'll help them to reassure them and so on. Ah, someone might say, well, that's a little overboard. And maybe it is. Maybe we're overprotective. I don't know. [00:15:24] But I'm just saying decisions, so many decisions. I think about my family. How will this affect my children? There have been times, and I'm just going to confess it to you today, there have been times in our ministry that I have been very discouraged. And I say, well, if that's what people want, well, let's forget about it. And I've been ready to throw in the top. But then I start thinking, well, what about my children? [00:15:55] If I give up and go the path of worldliness and casual, casual, what about my children? Well, they'll follow my steps, no doubt. No, Lord, I want to hang on. I want to hang on for my children. Pray for your children. Now, whose responsibility is it to transmit truth to the next generation? It's our responsibility, obviously. [00:16:28] Isaiah 38, verse 19. The father to the children shall make known thy truth. Psalm 78, if you would read that. There you can read how the transmission of truth is from generation to generation. You can read there that they may take it and give it to their children. Who might take it and give it to their children? And you can read in Psalm 78 the transmission of truth. And it talks there primarily of fathers. [00:17:03] Now listen, a good, stable, spiritual church, as good as it can be, will not take the place of a careless home. The church, somebody has said, and I copied it down years and years ago, The church can seldom resurrect what the home has put to death. A good, stable, spiritual church cannot take the... Oh, it'll help! It'll help! [00:17:35] But it cannot take the place of a careless home. A very godly school with godly teachers and a wonderful curriculum cannot take the place of a careless home. Will not take the place of a careless home. So we teach, so we teach and train as the scripture says, line upon line, precept upon precept. [00:18:06] Here a little and there a little, and you teach and you train and you pray and you point. You know, last couple of winters ago we rented out our pasture to the neighbor boy, the neighbor man. and he had a, he started feeding round bales and about in November he started feeding these round bales and the first few round bales he took out across the lot there, well you could hardly see the tracks in the grass. [00:18:41] And, but as winter wore on, the grass got a little muddy there and then soon there was a dirt trail And then you could see ruts. And finally the ruts got so deep after so many trips that I expect that Bradley could have taken his hands off the steering wheel and that tractor would have went right down the path. And so it ought to be and so it is in our teaching program [00:19:11] Line upon line, precept upon precept Here a little and there a little And suddenly we take our hands off the steering wheel And they're going in the right path Praise God Psalm 128 verse 3 Thy wife, I'm cutting in in the middle of a psalm there Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine Thy children shall be like olive plants [00:19:43] And the terms used there denote health, vitality, order, and usefulness Thy wife shall be like a fruitful vine Thy children shall be like olive plants We love to garden A fruitful vine and a fruitful plant take care. [00:20:14] They take discipline. They take structure. They take digging and dunging like the scripture says. They take a bit of work. And in that, in that there's also the human element of our own failures, isn't it? Oh, we fail, we make mistakes. The brother came to me not a while ago and he shared and he was weeping, I failed my family. [00:20:47] I have failed my family. And I agreed with him. I said, yes you did. I told them to go home to him, gather him around and apologize, ask their forgiveness. But I told him, I said, you're only going to fail if you quit now. Learn from your mistakes, make some adjustments, but don't quit Rise up, you men of God, you men of God, even though we fail [00:21:19] Rise up and confess your faults to your children and to your family And go on The law of sowing and reaping applies in our homes Positively Plant good, positive seeds, and you'll reap a good harvest. The best you know how, plant seeds, follow God's program. Pray for a good harvest. But God expects us, somebody said, and I like this, pray for a good harvest. [00:21:58] But God expects you to say amen with a hoe. So, there's a law of sowing and reaping. And I just want to share something, and this is a bit of a negative side. There was a man complaining of his lack of respect that he was getting from his children. But now there's something about this home, and again this sounds negative. But something about this home, this home was this father and this mother were often dissatisfied and vocally dissatisfied with the church and the leaders of the church. [00:22:49] It seemed as though the poor bishop could do very little right. It would seem as though the odds, the chances would be that every once in a while he would just by chance get something right, but it didn't seem like he could, at least in their eyes. And they were openly vocal, and their children knew their feelings. Those children grew up, went against the teachings of the church, went against the teachings of their parents. [00:23:28] And I'm asking you this. Could it be that those children were responding to their parents just like they saw those parents respond to the authority figure over them? Is there a chance of that? I think it is. Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. [00:23:58] You can't do that type of thing. You just cannot do it and expect to have a positive harvest. You cannot plant negative seeds and expect a positive harvest. Now, we've been in the ministry about 28 years, and I've sat in on a lot of tense meetings. I've sat in on a lot of meetings where homes were struggling. By far, the majority of the time, it has been the husband failing in his responsibility to assume the spiritual leadership of that home. [00:24:39] By far, there is exceptions, of course. Every so often, a good man will marry a wildcat. John Wesley did. He was a noble, good man. And one day when he was praying, his wife didn't like what he was praying about, she threw a shoe at him. So he prayed in Latin. So she didn't know what he was praying about. But by far, the majority of the time, a Christian wife wants her husband, and even non-Christian wives, want their husband to assume leadership of that home. [00:25:29] Leadership in spiritual matters. A spiritual priest will encourage those around him in spiritual matters. A spiritual priest will never be able to lift those around him higher than he himself did. To a higher spiritual level than he is himself. He can't do it. What wonderful words of commendation that God spoke about Abraham. [00:26:07] I know that man. I know that man that he's going to conduct his household after me. Wasn't that a wonderful vote of confidence there? Here, a spiritual priest, a spiritual father, the spiritual husband will encourage and attempt to lift his wife and those he's responsible for to a deep and lovely walk with the Lord Jesus. Jesus, he will teach his children, he will lead his children in family devotions, gather them around him and sing and pray and he will teach his children to sit quietly during this time of worship. [00:26:53] He will teach them and he will encourage them in this thing of private devotions, of kneeling beside their bed and little humble prayers. It's a blessing to me to know that my little four-year-old granddaughter kneels beside her bed and prays for her grandpa. We are to assume leadership in church life, church matters. [00:27:26] We are to lead out in loving and supporting the body of believers despite the human element. There's a human element in the church. We're here. We're human. But despite that, oh, Daddy loves the church. He commends the church. He attends the church. He wants to extend the church. But he, wait a minute, attends the church. [00:28:01] It is daddy's responsibility. You know, we sing that song, For Christ and the church let our voices ring. You know what? In children's mind, they don't hardly differentiate between Christ and the church. You know that? They see, I did, they see loyalty to the Lord Jesus as loyalty to the church at a young age. And maybe we ought to even at an older age. Oh, they want to attend the church. [00:28:35] The question is not, are we going tonight, but are we already? Ready! There was a man who once told me, he said, You know, he said one time he was finishing up planting. He said, hey, we have about 20 acres of beans to finish planting. And they're talking about rain tomorrow. [00:29:06] It's a prayer meeting tonight. What would you do? Well, let's do some figuring. All right, 20 acres of beans, 50 bushel of nature, that's 1,000 bushel, is that right? 1,000 bushel, 9 bucks a bushel, 9,000 bucks. [00:29:41] Takeaway expense is at half $4,500. I don't know. I'm just kind of... $4,500. All right. We're transmitting to our children that $4,500 is more important than meeting with the people of God and kneeling with the people of God and studying the Scriptures with the people of God. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. And you know what? Leave them beans in the bag. The Lord can make that $4,500 up with a couple of rains during the summer. And besides that, you'll have the respect of your children for taking a stand for the Lord Jesus. [00:30:29] Let them plant beans all around you. Take your children, take your little ones to the house of God. Show them what's important. Show them what is real in life. Leadership. Spiritual priests. Examples in uprightness and honesty. Examples in giving. Examples, now listen to this, daddies. Examples in telling your children, this is enough. [00:31:00] We have enough. We don't need another farmer. We don't need a 2010 Super Duty 350 Ford door. We don't need it. Boy, we're doing just fine with our 1999. 9. Example of knowing when to stop and say, this is enough. This is enough. You see, if God blesses, there's a, there's a, the tax man says, we need to reinvest it. No, you don't. Not in material things. The Lord has given a wonderful outlet. Give as the Lord has prospered. [00:31:46] You don't have to reinvest. You don't have to buy that extra piece of equipment. And I'm not saying we ought never to expand. I'm not saying that. But I'm saying that we ought to, as spiritual priests, teach our young men that this is enough. Satisfied. We are satisfied. And now to your wives. You play a tremendous part in passing on this paratheke, this trust. [00:32:26] Now, I don't know if you ever read that account of Hannah lately. Remember, she went in and she was weeping and in distress. She wanted a child. And Eli was very thoughtless there. He said, you're drinking. You're drunk. That wasn't very thoughtful. But anyway, he was human. But you know, at that time, Hannah could have said, now wait a minute, Eli, what about you? [00:33:04] Your sons are drunks. What about you? But she said, not so, Lord. And there was an attitude of respect toward Eli, her priest. It wasn't her husband, it was her priest. Now what about Abraham? God said of Abraham, I know that man. [00:33:37] Do you think when God told Abraham to offer up his son Isaac, that when he finally had to break the news to Isaac, there was a wrestling match on the mountain, and he finally got Isaac and put him on the altar and tied him down? I don't think so. I think there was a respect there that Isaac had. for Abraham that he saw in his mama, Sarah. And you can read about that respect. [00:34:11] She called him Lord. And I'm not suggesting tonight that you call your husband Lord. You can if you want to. But that should be your attitude of respect. And you see, your children will catch that. Mother, let's get ready and go to church. Alright. You said alright, but see, they observe. [00:34:45] They catch your attitude. And that's why, see, here comes little Samuel. He comes along. Hannah was able to transmit, despite Eli's failures, Hannah was able to transmit respect toward Eli. And little Samuel was able to go into service with the right concept of leadership and authority. [00:35:21] See what I mean? Everything because of Hannah's response. Now I'd like to talk a little bit about children. As I mentioned, I think this little sermon tonight was spurred on by the little faces that I've been observing and listening. Psalm 58, verse 3. The wicked are estranged from the womb. They go astray as soon as they are born, speaking lies. [00:35:56] Psalm 51 verse 5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. I think David knew where his sin came from. He knew that it was a part of his, the natural fruit of his fallen nature. I believe that children are safe. They are safe in their innocency. but there is within them a tainted nature that will have a bend toward evil [00:36:29] and that's what the psalmist said I was shapen in iniquity this truth soon reveals itself in experience at least it did for us have you ever noticed, I noticed how often and how often that you have to teach good habits good habits have to be taught and taught and taught and how easily then, in reverse, how easily bad habits are learned. Have you ever noticed that? It tells you a little bit of the bend that they have. [00:37:02] I don't know how often that I've said to the, that I've, we've gone through this thing at the bank, years gone by. The teller says, could I give your children a sucker? Yes. So he passes, she passes the suckers out. What do you say? It has to be taught and taught and taught and taught. Lots of verses in the Bible concerning this thing of child raising and training. Colossians 3 verse 20, children obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. [00:37:40] Hebrews 12 verse 6 and 8, for the whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourges every son whom he receiveth. If we endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons. And that's a simple rule here, that God chastens His children just as good fathers chasten their children when they disobey. Now, Ephesians 6 verse 4. [00:38:16] Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The word nurture means chastening. The Greek word pedia, which chastening would be chastening and nurturing, much the same thing. Now, one writer said, who studied Greek, that this would have a nursery type of a term, where nurturing or chastening would be trimming away the unwanted branches that tend to shoot out. [00:38:58] What do you call those things? I can't think of it. In a tomato, it's suckers. Trimming away the unwanted suckers. Nurturing and chastening would have that thought behind it. This is something, this chastening of our children and nurturing of our children is something that is even animals understand it. Do you know that? I have seen a little calf and her mama dearly loves her. Her mama would chase a dog across the pasture to protect this little calf. [00:39:32] But let that little calf butt a little extra hard in that udder And Mama will raise her leg and give that calf a kick You've seen it and I've seen it I was, as I mentioned, in Alaska last year And we've seen a film of the wildlife of Alaska And there we've seen a bear with two twin cubs And these two cubs were wrestling around and fighting around [00:40:02] And mother goes over and cuffs them And chastens them So I'm saying that even this is a natural thing Proverbs 20 verse 23 Proverbs 20 verse 30 The blueness of the wound cleanses away evil So do stripes the inward parts of the belly. Isn't that something? Proverbs 20 verse 30 [00:40:32] The blueness of a wound cleanses away evil. Now, we are living in a world that is paranoid about this thing of child abuse. But I feel, according to the scriptures and according to this word, this verse, that real child abuse is not. Disciplining, that's real child abuse The blueness of the wound cleanses away evil [00:41:05] So do stripes the inward part of the belly Happy is the child who learns early in life That sin and wrongdoing and disobedience has negative consequences Happy is that child. Happy is that child. Sometimes I hear people say, and I have heard people say, I love my child too much to spank them or to beat them, they said. [00:41:40] The fact of the matter is they don't love that child. They don't love that child. They love themselves. It takes, it takes time, it takes effort, it takes a broken heart to stand to your feet out of that recliner and do what the Bible said needs to be done. And to not do it is child abuse. There's a need there. [00:42:10] The rod, here's another one, Proverbs 29, verse 15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. A child who learns to restrain his actions and his spirit by his parents will be a delight to work with in school. [00:42:46] It will be a blessing to the church. Now we've had a dear sister who's come into our circles. Had some five children. Came into our circles and the boy was in eighth grade. She had become a Christian, separated from her husband because of an unchristian, unscriptural union. [00:43:21] But this boy was from a previous marriage and had been neglected by his second daddy, you can call him that. And a very troubled young lad and had never learned to obey. And I remember one evening, one afternoon, she called me. She said, this young man, he was by then 16 years old, called me up and she was weeping. He said, he's in a terrible rage. He's broken the bathroom door. He's kicked the mirror off the van. [00:44:00] Please, he's terribly angry. Please come over. So on the way over I got on the cell phone, I called Deacon Brother Andy And on the way over we were discussing what we should do Now Andy is a pretty good sized lad And we decided that we were kind of our What would the scripture have to be our course of action if he attacks us? What should be our course of action? Well, I'm not going to tell you what it was [00:44:31] because it doesn't really matter tonight. But we told that young man after we got him calmed down and to sit down, we told him that unless he repents and gives his heart to the Lord, that we see terrible, a terrible future for him. Ha ha! He left home. We told him he had to move out. [00:45:03] He went to live with his grandpa. And for some reason, you know, that evening his grandpa was the nicest man. He understood. We don't understand, but grandpa understands. But you know what? About three weeks with grandpa, and suddenly grandpa didn't understand either. And down in Missouri, grandpa suddenly didn't understand either. Well, so Grandpa put him out on the streets, and there was a fight, and there's one young man, followed, Anthony was his name, followed Anthony into his house, and Anthony told him to get out, and he wouldn't get out, this young man was going to beat him up, and Anthony pulled out a gun and killed, shot, killed this man in his living room. [00:46:00] Anthony went to jail. He was acquitted for self-defense because a man landed inside his apartment. A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. He had never learned, his parents had never restrained him and had never taught him to obey. We couldn't either. So he is put into a place where he does obey, and that was the jail. [00:46:34] Well, he's out now. Pray for him, would you? Proverbs 29, verse 17. Correct thy child, and he shall give thee rest. This is the flip side of it. Proverbs 29, verse 17. Correct thy child, and he shall give thee rest. Crack thy son, and he shall give thee rest. Yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. How many times have you heard at a baptism, I have no greater joy. [00:47:11] Daddy stands up, I have no greater joy. I have no greater joy. I have had the privilege of leading my children to the Lord Jesus. What a joy. My oldest son tonight is preaching in somewhere in Missouri, revival meetings. And I'm not sure why, but I think he's one of my favorite preachers for some reason. [00:47:45] What a joy. And I'm not saying it boastfully, but I'm just saying, correct your child and he'll give you rest. He shall give delight unto thy soul. David, great king, but not so good a father. Neglected his sons. Would not cross his son's will. I don't know if he's too busy. I'm not sure what the problem was. Eli, decent priest, I think. [00:48:19] But brought a curse upon his household. because he would not restrain his sons. Parents, begin early, continue discipline faithfully. Begin early. How soon should a baby have his first spanking? Well, let me read what a preacher said. I do not think you ought to whip a girl baby as early as a boy baby. [00:48:50] I don't think anyone ought to whip a girl baby younger than three weeks old, but you might begin on a boy baby the day he's born. Now that's a little humorous, I know. But I feel that it brings out a point. I think we're apt to wait too long rather than starting too early. I think when there's willfulness shown, I think it's time to start disciplining. [00:49:24] Proverbs 19 verse 18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Spare for his crying I would take from that that the spanking, the discipline ought to be thorough Ought to be thorough [00:49:55] Ought to, when the cry, we need to proceed past the cries of frustration Thorough And don't quit Christ, let not thy soul spare for his crying. I think it's possible to spank a child and spank him just enough to make him angry. [00:50:28] I don't think tears should stop us from following through what God calls for in times of disobedience. I know a few Sundays ago, my little granddaughter was having a hard time sitting still in church. And I don't know what all was going on there behind me, but suddenly I heard somebody stand up and little Maria said, [00:51:02] Maria Stilheva, Maria Stilheva, Maria Stilheva Ah, my heart, oh, but daddy, may God bless him, follow through. Let not thy soul spare for his crying. Let's not be soft and lazy. Let's follow through what God has planned. [00:51:34] How long? How long should a parent maintain the respect and discipline of his children? Well, God held Eli accountable for his grown sons. He couldn't take them over his knee, but there were some things he could have done. and the book of Deuteronomy tells you what he could have done, but he didn't. And he was responsible. [00:52:07] Old Vance Havner used to say about his old daddy, he said even after the boys were married, he said daddy tended to feel that he was ahead of his house and we tended to agree with him. He was the man, he was daddy. And I feel that we ought to accept that we ought to be willing to be the patriarch, the patriarch influence of our home. [00:52:43] I expect now when our children leave our home, granted, they have their own home. But I believe that with advice and by example that you can still be pointing and tossing pebbles and using your influence to bring your children and even your grandchildren to the throne of God. It's our responsibility. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. [00:53:17] I would like to read to you something that was in the Rod and Staff's booklet here, what do you call this, Christian Contender, and I want you to listen to this carefully. Too often, the writer says, we have the mistaken idea that if youth, now I had asked the question, how old, before we no longer have the authority over. Too often we have the mistaken idea that if youth are out of line with the church, it is mainly a church problem. [00:53:54] Dear parents, although it certainly is a church problem if they are church members, yet in God's sight it is very much a parent's problem. No one except God can do as much good as the parents as they cooperate and actively support the church and no one can do as much harm as they if they support their child against the church. Not expecting and insisting upon obedience to the church from our children is supporting them against the church. [00:54:28] We must never, never support our child, our youth, against the church, its leaders, or its schoolteachers. We may not agree with the church's or schoolteachers' position. If we do not agree, we should go to the people involved. But we must never show the slightest disrespect for the church or the authorities involved. This is not only for the sake of the school teachers or the church leaders, but it is for the child's sake. [00:54:59] Anything else will certainly harm the child. If we have strong, if we have weak homes, we will have a weak church, no matter how hard we work at it from the church level. If we have strong homes, we will have a strong church. If we do not take a stand in our homes, but expect the church to do it for us, our young people will suffer. [00:55:31] If parents do not agree with the church, or do not actively and positively support the church, by expecting compliance to church standards in their home, their young people will likely follow the stronger influence of the home. and their attitude towards submission to the things of God will be adversely affected. Children and youth respond best to parental restraints. If children do not respond properly to their parents, they will very likely respond even worse to interference from others, especially the ministry. [00:56:08] This truth was brought out emphatically in a Chicago suburb in the 1980s. It goes on to say, in 1984, there was a suburb where they were having wild drinking parties among their youth. And the police would come out, and the police would come out and try to send them home, and so they did. But finally they got tired of this and they decided that when they come out to a home that there's going to be a $500 fine levied against the parents. [00:56:45] And you know what? The party stopped. Because the reason this program worked was because of the way that God made human relationships to work. It is primarily the parents. Not the ministers, teachers, churches, or schools that are charged and accountable to teach and restrain and command their children. If the church through the ministry tries to assume the parents' duties, they very often become the target for discontent, disrespect, and accusation, just as the police did in the account above. [00:57:29] Young people whose parents have not done their part often fail to respond to reminders from the ministry And they become defensive and try to justify their position by any other inconsistency in the church It is very sad if young people hold the ministry whose calling is to preach and to lead the flock in disrespect and contempt Because they are forced to do what the parents should have done Now, how can we expect our children to submit to the church if we do not enforce submission in our homes? [00:58:06] Thus, we are actually teaching them that submission is really not that important. I thought that was quite thought-provoking. Withhold not, here's another one, Proverbs 23, verse 13 and 14. Withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beateth him with a rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with a rod, and deliver, listen to this, his soul from hell. [00:58:40] Thou shalt deliver his soul from hell. Now we had a young couple that had foster children. And they were not allowed, of course, to use corporal punishment upon these foster children. And so when these foster children would act up, they would have to do these little timeouts and some kind of other things. I don't know what all they've done. But they were not allowed to spank these children. And so in church, the children would whine and whine and they would put their hand over their mouth [00:59:17] and the children would try to bite their hand and on and on, whine and this thing would go on and on and on. Well, time passed, this couple was praying for children and they were finally able to adopt these children. Four of them, no, yes, four of them at one lick. You know what? When the adoption was through, this daddy, there was a little flare-up. This daddy took a child to the bedroom. [00:59:50] Set him down in his lap. A child I love. And I love you too much to allow you to go on like you're doing. And we love you. And so because we love you, we're going to spank you. And he turned him over the knee and he gave him a good sound spanking. You know what? That whining, that discontent, that grousing stopped. [01:00:27] And those four children were able to sit in church. didn't need timeouts because this couple elected to go God's way and do things God's way. Somebody has said that you ought not to spank a child until it hurts you more than it will hurt them. And that means you don't spank in anger. But wait to discipline until what you're going to do [01:01:00] will hurt you worse than it hurts them. And tell them you love them. And when you're done spanking them, assure them, tell them that they're forgiven and this thing is over with and the slate is clean and we love them and now let's go out and be happy and dry your tears. Let's go be happy. And oh, they have bounced to their feet. You see, that guilt has been cleansed. [01:01:35] They know they've been naughty and that thing has been cleansed. It's a beautiful thing. The world doesn't understand it. Do not only spank your child. It's a Bible way. Discipline them in love. Communicate with them. Love them. Trust them. Apologize to them. Show them your concern. Share with them their concern. Be willing to say no. Be willing sometimes to say no. [01:02:14] Every daddy, everybody else is doing it. No, no. Everybody's doing it. Oh, no. I know someone who's not going to be doing it. My family's not. Everybody's going, Daddy! No, it's not. I know a few who are not going. One young lady made a remark to my daughter about a certain Daddy. He said, you know, that Daddy doesn't love his children very much. [01:02:46] He lets them do anything. Isn't that remarkable? He doesn't love them very much. He lets them do anything. Spend time with your children. Children spell love like this. Children spell love like this. Sing together. Sing together. Sing together. Write letters together. Play games together. Years ago, a few years ago, we heard some people say, [01:03:18] You know, it really doesn't pay to have a garden. You know, you can go into these bent and dense stores and buy peas and buy butter beans and it certainly doesn't pay to have a garden. It surely does. It surely does. It pays in huge amounts to have mama and daughter and a family together out there while we have had wonderful times in the corn patch. Spend time. [01:03:50] Now, there's a concern that I have about the age that we're living in. We have developed in our Amish Mennonite circles a subculture. I don't know if I ought to say this. You're going to run me out of town on a rail. We have developed a subculture called the youth group. And it's like the tail swinging the dog. So, somehow I don't think the youth group, I cannot find in the scriptures that the youth group is the means that the Lord has for teaching and training and developing character in young people. [01:04:27] And I'm not anti-youth activities, we have them. Busy, busy, busy. Oh, take time. There's a strange little verse that says in one of the, I'm going to have to look it up, but it just came to me tonight. As he was busy here and there, they were gone. And it didn't have to do, I'm taking this verse completely out of context. It's not only do I don't know where it's at, I'm taking it completely out of context. [01:04:58] As he was busy here and there, they were gone. And somehow, friends, I'm getting up close to middle age, I think. And I'm starting to see how fast time goes. And sometimes I look around and wait a minute. There's the youth activity and all I have left is two boys. And I used to have them all the way around me. [01:05:31] I've got two boys. And oh, I just wish I could freeze time and stop it and hold it. These are precious and wonderful times. But I can't do that. Take time. Enjoy your children. Love them. Discipline them. Lead them to the Lord. Disciple them. They're a trust. They're a heritage. They're a trust that God has given to you.