The Witness of a Forgiving Spirit

[00:00:00] This audio sermon is provided by AnabaptistSermons.com and may be freely copied and distributed. You may not sell or edit this sermon. Our prayer is that you would be blessed by this ministry. Greetings to each one of you in Christ's name this morning. And what I would like to speak about this morning is not an unfamiliar topic. It's about forgiving forgiveness. And I've titled this message, The Witness of a Forgiving Spirit. [00:00:30] But something that affects relationships, and relationships are very important, and I think all of us would agree. I feel constrained to say this, that our relationship, though very important, should never come at the cost of truth, compromising truth in our lives. So, I just want to say that ahead of time. I think if we pay careful attention to what God is saying, He wants us to have relationships and maintain truth in our walk at the same time. [00:01:08] Now, having said that, I'd like to read from Matthew 18 this morning, breaking in chapter 18, verse 21 to the end of the chapter. And as I was sitting here this morning, I recognized that this Jesus is speaking and this comes directly after he gives teaching on how we should maintain a brotherhood, how we should approach each other and how we should try to gain that brother back that is erring. [00:01:44] If there's error in the church, and of course this is not an unfamiliar passage, I hope it's not to all of us that are here. Let's read, and I think I'm going to ask you to stand, starting at verse 21. Would you stand with me as we read the scripture here? This is Peter speaking, asking a question. Then came Peter to him and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto these until seven times, but until seventy times seven. [00:02:18] Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him which owed him ten thousand talents. For as much as he had not to pay, his Lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion and loosed him and forgave him the debt. [00:02:55] But the same servant went out and found one of his fellow servants which owed him an hundred pence, and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellow servant fell down at his feet and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not, but went and cast him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were very sorry and came and told unto their lord all that was done. [00:03:29] Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt. all that debt because thou desirest me shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow servant even as I had pity on thee and his Lord was wroth and delivered him to the tormentors till he should pay all that was due unto him so likewise shall my heavenly father do also unto you if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses [00:04:02] This illustration is a familiar illustration. It is a rather far out illustration. If you study this, if you have a commentary, you will find that this, you will find, you will see how this all leveled out. The one that was forgiven owed about 10 million by today's standards. And the other one owed about 20 bucks, I think, in that range. [00:04:36] And the ratio, I think, is about 600,000 to 1, somebody said. Now, this seems ridiculous to us. It does to me. And I think probably it is. It's a hypothetical. It's a story, maybe. I don't know. But you know what? You and I are kind of like that. In a sense, we are like that. We have been forgiven much. We have been, if we came in true repentance to the Lord, we have been forgiven our sins. But we hold our brother hostage for a perceived misdeed many times. [00:05:21] The last several verses that I read are really what hit home. So likewise shall my Heavenly Father do also unto you if you from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses. And I would like for you to notice this, from your hearts. It's very easy for me to say I forgive you. But if it comes from my heart, there's something different about it. There's something different about it. [00:05:54] It requires an attitude of forgiveness and action that goes with it. We see this in a number of different scriptures. I think there's also an encouragement here. If we do forgive, I think the Lord is willing to set us free. The Lord's Prayer, I think it's the most common thing that we think of when we think about forgiveness. Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors [00:06:24] And I heard that growing up many, many, many times My dad always tacked the Lord's Prayer to the end of each prayer I'm not being critical I think it's important that we understand And then Matthew 6, verse 14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses And I want us to understand again this morning that there is a disconnect between us and God if we are unforgiving. [00:07:00] There is a disconnect. It is as Psalm 66.8 says, If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me. And I think if we have an unforgiving heart, I wonder if we would be better off not even praying. I hate to make that statement. And I want to be careful. I think we should still, but let's search our hearts. Let's be very careful. And so the first point that I would like to make this morning is simply this. Unforgiveness on my part brings separation between me and God. It's that simple. It's sin. [00:07:39] God will hold us accountable at Judgment Day. And it will keep us from, it's as simple as that. I don't think I can make the point more simple. Our destination is not heaven if we carry about an unforgiving spirit. And I ask you the question, how Christian are we? How born again are we? How much of a new creature are we if there is unforgiveness coming forth? [00:08:10] That is the way of the world. That is the way of an unconverted heart. If we have an unforgiving spirit, if we have an unforgiving spirit, we are headed for the same destination that the world is headed for. And you know what? It doesn't matter where my church membership is. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The second thing I want to notice here is the forgiving heart of Jesus. And maybe I should say the forgiving heart of the Father because he was part of the Trinity. [00:08:45] The question that Peter posed to Jesus here was maybe a loaded question in some respect. Because I believe that they were, if they had forgiven three times, that was sufficient. But if I hear what Jesus is saying correctly, he is saying that there is never a time to stop forgiving. And I think that's the heart of the Father. When we come to him in true repentance, he will always forgive us. [00:09:19] If we come in true repentance. There's another place in scripture that you see the forgiving heart of Jesus. And that is on the cross. Luke 23.34 Father forgive them for they know not what they do. He was not excusing the behavior at all. He was not condoning their sin. But he was just begging the Father, would you just forgive them? The forgiving heart of Jesus. He exposed his forgiving heart. [00:09:55] And I believe he showed us something there. A forgiveness is not condoning what the perpetrator has done or overlooking sin. And Jesus was not doing that. But he had a forgiving heart. I found a quote by Louis B. Smedes, and I have no idea who this man is, but he said this, To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. [00:10:26] I don't know if you've found that in your life or not, but I've struggled and I've had my share of moments that I'm not proud of at all. But when I was able to forgive, I set myself free in ways that I couldn't have done otherwise. Maybe we should look at the definition of forgiven. I just took the dictionary that I had. The first one, and I have, there's three different definitions. [00:11:01] The first one is to stop being angry about something, to stop being angry about or resenting somebody or somebody's behavior. The second one, pardon somebody, to excuse somebody for a mistake, misunderstanding, wrongdoing, or inappropriate behavior. And the third one is to cancel obligation. To cancel an obligation such as debt. And I tried to look at the Greek. I don't know if you study Greek much, but the Greek definition of the word forgive as was used in Matthew 18 says about the same thing as the dictionary does. [00:11:37] So I think we, it's fairly simple to understand. I think most of us have been taught to forgive. And I don't know if this is helpful or not. I was raised in a home where when my brother or sister said that they're sorry, my parents required that I would tell them, I forgive you. It was a requirement, and I've tried to maintain that in my home, but there is, and I think there's value in that, I encourage that. [00:12:09] If you have children, they need to be taught to forgive, but there's something that goes on in the heart that goes beyond just saying that I forgive. And it has been said, and I don't know if this is a valid statement or not, but it has been said that many people will miss heaven by 16 inches. It's where our head and our heart don't connect. And I know we could take issue with that, but let me just tell you, I have observed people that have been able to teach [00:12:44] and have been able to preach and have done many things, great things, and they understood on an intellectual level, if I say it right, but forgiveness isn't part. The same person might say, well, they had it coming. Let's be very careful. It has to come from the heart. It has to come from the heart. I know we are emotional creatures. God made us that way and I don't think it's wrong to admit that. [00:13:19] And we all encounter things in life and for something that you would find very painful, difficult to deal with, I may not find the same level of stress. But nevertheless, God made all of us and we all have to deal with this thing. The command is still clear. We need to forgive. Forgive from the heart. Now, I know that it's difficult from my own experience. There are things that happen in life. And if you think that you've forgiven, praise the Lord. But I, as I examined myself, as I studied for this message and I examined my own life, and I thought there's things that happen. And for some reason, you don't have to be very old until some things can happen that can make an impression on you for the rest of your life. [00:14:20] And how, if you recall those feelings, what happens in your mind may be a good indication if we have a forgiving heart. But I want to say this, when you align your life with the Lord Jesus Christ and you become born again, Peter says it this way, we become partakers of a divine nature and it enables us to do things that we couldn't do otherwise. [00:14:51] Praise the Lord. We are able to have a forgiving spirit where otherwise it was not possible. It just wasn't possible. I ask you this morning, how is your heart? And I know that you haven't had time to think about this like I did in studying this. Do you have a forgiving spirit? Do you have a forgiving spirit towards your brothers and sisters in the church? Are there things that just kind of rub you the wrong way all the time? [00:15:26] What about you husbands and wives? Do you have a forgiving spirit? Is everything clear? Or parents, do you have a forgiving spirit towards your children? Does your child feel open to come ask for your forgiveness? Do you forgive from the heart? And maybe to you children. You know, I'm a child myself, and all of us are. Do you carry unforgiveness in your heart towards your parents? [00:16:01] Maybe especially adult children. It's easy to carry some unforgiveness in your heart. And parents make mistakes. And there are things that happen in homes that are not the way they should be. But let me say to you this morning, we have to forgive. We have to forgive. Your parents may be far away from you in your life, but God knows where you're at. [00:16:33] God knows what you're carrying around in your heart. I would encourage you, if you haven't done so already, tell your parents that you've forgiven them. Allow them to know that you've forgiven them. I came across this story as I was studying, looking for something, some material for this message. And this was, I don't know who this was, because the name was just a made-up name. [00:17:10] But it was a story about a son that had a father, and this was a broken home. And he, his parents divorced and he, his mother remarried and his stepfather was a very kind person. He was this young man's mentor, but he died. And this young man struggled to forgive. Why would God, why would his father, his father was not there for him at all. [00:17:46] You know, I don't know if I should say this. I don't even know if it's a true story, but it caught my attention. This young man had some working through to do, as we can well imagine, and maybe many of us do. But he came to grips with his struggles, and he decided that it's necessary for him to write. His father, I don't know if he gave it to his father, or if he just wrote it on a piece of paper. And sometimes that's helpful if we simply write it down. [00:18:17] I'll just read what this young man wrote as he was struggling with this. He said, the title or the heading above it is, I forgive you. Though you haven't been there for me at all and never took the time of day to call, I forgive you. For the nights that I mourned for your love and got nothing from you but a push and a shove, I forgive you. Why you don't love me I will never understand Through the hard times you were never there to hold my hand For the days that I just broke down and cried [00:18:49] For the times I didn't know if you cared If I was alive or I had died I forgive you For the times you really didn't care For the days that you were never there I forgive you You were never there to catch my tears You were never there to conquer my fears But I forgive you You know, when we set someone free, there is a blessing that goes with it. The blessing of God rests upon those that have a forgiving heart. Not to speak about the relationship that it can build when we come to our brothers and sisters with a forgiving heart. [00:19:28] I would like to look at some of the sins that grow out of an unforgiving heart. And, you know, we tend to think, I don't know if you do this or not, but we've all heard that pride is the root of sin. And it is. In a sense, it is. And I don't know if sin comes in layers or stacks on top of each other, but I try to think about forgiveness in that sense. And I don't know if unforgiveness comes from wounded pride, where I can't forgive because I've been put down from that exalted position that I thought I should have or thought I had. [00:20:11] I don't know. But there are some things that grow out of unforgiveness that have an ever-widening circle that lead to more sin and that take us farther down the wrong road. And I would like to look at a couple of these and I, again, we can't address everything. But I did note this in studying for this. We, many times we try to deal with sin that we see on the surface. [00:20:44] We see this, maybe we see a brother or sister or a co-worker and we see this. Something's not right and there may be a sin. There may be some harsh words. And but there's a root. There's something at the bottom of this. And that's what I would like to look at this morning. Why do I respond the way I do? Why do I live the way? What determines my actions and why I act the way I do? [00:21:15] The first thought that I had, and this is not directly involved, maybe you would say, but an unforgiving heart becomes a bitter heart. And there are many, many bitter people. There are bitter people that sit in our own circles in the church. Bitter people. Now, when we have an unforgiving spirit, we no longer seek peace as we should, as Hebrews 12, 14, and 15 says, [00:21:48] Follow peace with all men and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord. Look diligently, lest any man fail of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled. Now I know, there are things that cause bitterness beyond just unforgiveness. There are things that God allows in our life that cause people to become bitter people. And we could mention some things, but if we are unable to accept those things, we become bitter. [00:22:24] But forgiveness or lack of forgiveness often causes us to become bitter. Very bitter. And I noted that the Hebrew writer not only talked about bitterness, but he talked about the root of bitterness. And there is a difference. I see a tree, but they tell me that the root is bigger or as big as the tree at times, and maybe at a certain point bigger. We see issues and we hear people speaking sometimes and we see what's on the surface but there may be something else, there is something else that is driving either the Holy Spirit or bitterness, anger, envy, jealousy from the wrong source. [00:23:14] Something is driving us. What is it? That root of bitterness. That root of bitterness when it enters the heart or becomes real to a person or a church. There is far more than what meets the eye many times. And it travels in places that we can't hardly imagine. When we have an unforgiving heart, that resentment and bitterness is like poison in our minds. [00:23:46] That scene gets replayed in my mind over and over again. Maybe it was my father responding wrong. Maybe it was my peer group. Maybe somebody made a crude comment. Maybe I was corrected, but that thing just plays over and over in my mind. And you know what? Bitter people have an amazing memory where they can recall every detail of what was done wrong to me and how it was just not right. [00:24:22] And again, I say it's like poison. It just keeps going on and on in the mind. We record offense in our mind and we're always ready to show someone else how bad this was and defend our grudges, defend what was done wrong to me. You know, speaking to, hearing, listening to people, I've heard this, I would suppose that I would do it myself because I've noticed it in so many other people. [00:24:56] Without thinking, there's this thing that comes through. But he did this. He did this. Or because, well, I guess we'll do this because they're doing that. You know what? We need to be careful. Let's make sure that we have a forgiving heart. You know, hearts that harbor unforgiveness and travel that road of bitterness and resentment [00:25:26] get to the place where there's hardly any capacity to love anymore. And it just ends there. The second thing I would like to notice that an unforgiving heart does is it wants revenge. It wants revenge. An unforgiving heart that's seeking revenge has disastrous results. It doesn't matter where it is. But when it comes in a church or a home or a school, it makes it even worse it seems like. [00:26:00] Here are God's people. Again I've heard people make the comment, his time was coming, he had it coming. It's that no holds barred thing of getting even, getting even. The result is often slander. And I don't know if, it seems to me that as nonresistant, the quiet people in the land, [00:26:36] And slander is something that we struggle with more than maybe those out there. But slander is an awful thing. It does untold damage to those that practice it and those that here have their minds poisoned by slander. Slander is often a sly way of getting revenge, or getting even, or bringing to light those things, those failures of the object that has hurt me, my brother or sister, or whoever it may be. [00:27:13] It operates underground. It operates, slander does not typically, well, it isn't slander if you go to the person and tell him what you're feeling. It operates underground, trying to get other people to work against this person or this group. And the problem with slander is simply this, that many times by the time that the real truth comes out, The damage has already been done. [00:27:46] I believe if we're guilty of slander this morning, the judgment of God is upon us. We need to be very careful. When we slander, it is a type of a kangaroo court where this person or this group has no right to defend themselves because we're doing it behind their back. or where they can't see. It is a tool in the devil's hands to destroy the work of God. [00:28:21] Slander is awful. I would like to look at Romans 12. This verse jumped out at me. I'm going to break in. Verse 19, when we have an unforgiving heart and we're seeking revenge for whatever we feel we've been wronged, Wherever we've been wronged, we are not where the Lord would have us be. Romans 12 verse 19 says this, [00:28:52] It is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord. And then it goes on, maybe I'll just read the rest. Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him. If he thirsts, give him drink. For in so doing, thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good There's positive instruction here as well But let me remind you that seeking revenge is not for me [00:29:23] It's not for God's people I will repay, saith the Lord Vengeance is mine, I will repay You know, in due time, God will take care of it We need to leave it in God's hands I don't know if we would like to admit this or not, but if we have a little bit of unforgiveness in our heart, and I, I hate to, this is a subject that I haven't hardly thought so much about because we feel so far removed from this and we hardly want to talk about hate. [00:30:00] But if there's a little bit of unforgiveness in my heart and it stays there, at some point there's a little bit of hate toward that person. And I think most of us have grown up hearing this, if I hate my brother, I'm a murderer. And that's true. I think 1 John says this, I don't have the reference. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness and walketh in darkness and knoweth not whither he goeth. because that darkness darkness hath blinded his eyes and it's saying about the same thing as being a murderer we're cut off from God if we have hate in our hearts hate I believe can come from an unforgiving heart unforgiveness will lead us to that now I don't know maybe we're a bit more politically correct than saying I I hate this person [00:30:59] Maybe we would do things like, say, I just, I can't really stand these people. They kind of rub me the wrong way, and so I'll avoid these people. But you know what? That's not God's way. When we have a forgiving heart, we are able to go back and forth. When there's love and forgiveness here, there's no need to avoid. And I understand that situations are very difficult at times, and the hurt is ongoing. [00:31:29] It's not something that just is once and done. It keeps going. I didn't want to venture into this thing very far, but I thought maybe we should for just a little bit consider this. And this is the question that many people ask. How do I know that I've forgiven those that have hurt me? How can I be sure that I have forgiven the way that I should? That I'm right with God? [00:32:02] And maybe in the end I would say, ask God to search your heart and let him see. Let him put yourself under God's microscope and see what he says about this. But there are some things that we can do. When, and I remember that Brother Paul Weaver said this, When I can remember the incident, the thing that happened, without the hurt, I can remember back, but it's no longer hurting me. [00:32:34] I have forgiven. Is there still anger and resentment rising when you think about what happened? And I know, I am made to remember, and all of us remember, but that shouldn't keep us from forgiving. We are still called to forgive. Are you able to pray for that person with a sincere heart, sincerely asking God's blessing on that person with no reserve? [00:33:08] I think it's a sign of forgiveness. And again, we can overemphasize one thing too far, but I would like to pose this third question. Can I accept correction from the person that has hurt me to the point of taking action on that correction? Am I willing to accept correction without holding that person responsible in my heart for the hurt that he has caused me? [00:33:40] I'll just leave that for your consideration. Now, I would like to speak a little bit about the witness of a forgiving spirit. There is this, the world around us understands violence and getting even, and we have laws, we have, well, I think you understand the world system. We are born with that inclination to get even and to stand up for my rights and to hold my ground. [00:34:18] We are born with that and that has to be shaped and changed when we enter the family of God. But I don't think there is anything that is quite as impressive to me, even being part of a brotherhood. When I observe brothers and sisters in a church that have a forgiving spirit toward one another, and not only have but practice that spirit, what are we willing to not say or not do for the sake of my brother? [00:34:52] Do I have a forgiving spirit towards my brother? You know what? If there is a church membership, if there is a church that has that forgiving spirit one toward another, it did not just happen. There is something that goes into that. There is some giving up, some submission on my part, on all of our part. It is a departure from the vicious cycle that the world knows or understands. And I think I may say, almost by default, we understand it because we're born with that nature [00:35:31] And we have to leave that nature at the door or we have to get rid of it We have to deal with that nature And I think all of us can remember some things that happened Situations that happened and come instantly to mind And where we remember that people forgave. How many of you, as I started to share this morning, remembered nickel mines? I don't know. At least one. Several people did. [00:36:03] What is it about that event that stands out in your mind? I think if I would ask you this morning what stands out the most in that event, maybe it is the scenes of that school and the rows and rows of policemen and the ambulances and all that went with that. But there's something that goes far beyond that, and that is the forgiveness that was extended to these people. And in this situation, the perpetrator was gone, took his own life, was gone. [00:36:40] But there's something about that extending of forgiveness. And as I was studying for this, I looked it up again. I went on the internet and looked it up. It caught the attention of the news media and the world. Within a week, there were 2,400 news stories written about that event. Their forgiveness, one toward another, in the most horrible situations, speak. [00:37:12] They are a witness far beyond what I can just say to another person. They are a witness. I would like to share with you a story. And I know that some of you know this story, have heard this story. And I know that my fellow ministers have heard this story. Because Brother Elmer Glick shared it at the minister's meeting. He had a topic on nonresistance, and I'm not sure what his title, what he was assigned to. But he shared this story, and it just touched me. It's a dramatic account of forgiveness. [00:37:48] And I'm just going to read this story for your consideration. It has to do with forgiveness, and I'm going to read the entire story as it came to me. I called Brother Elmer and asked him if he would send me this story. Dean Taylor and his wife were in the U.S. Army and through a study of the Bible came to a nonresistant position. And he tells his life story in a book entitled A Change of Allegiance. And this is where the story comes from. [00:38:20] And Dean Taylor is the one that wrote this story. In the years from about 1948 to 1994, a white minority ruled South Africa under a system called apartheid. It was much like the segregation in the U.S. in earlier years. There were a lot of atrocities. Many were very brutal. Finally, a man by the name of Nelson Mandela was instrumental in ending these evils. There was a commission established to bring these evil men to justice. [00:38:53] One man by the name of Vandy Brooke was brought to this trial. There was this elderly black lady at this trial because her family was closely connected to his evil deeds. He admitted to taking her 18-year-old son and shooting him and then burning his body while dancing and partying around the fire. Eight years later, they came again and took her husband into captivity. Sometime in the middle of the night, they came and got this elderly black lady. [00:39:28] They took her out into an isolated area, and there she saw her husband. He was tied to some wood, and they poured gasoline over him and lit the gasoline. While she watched, his body burned up, but the last words she heard from her husband were, Forgive them, forgive them. Now, years later, she is finally at the trial of Mr. Van De Broek. And as the trial drew to a close, the judge asked this elderly lady what she wanted the court to do to sentence this man for all the evils that he had done toward her family. [00:40:08] How did she want him to be punished? The elderly black lady said she wants three things. I want Mr. Vandy Brook to take me to the place where they burned the body of my husband so I can gather together some of the dust and ashes and give my husband a decent burial. Mr. Vandy Brook took all my family away from me, and I still have lots of love left to give him. Twice a month I want Mr. Vandy Brook to come to my ghetto and spend the day with me so I can be a mother to him. [00:40:43] I want Mr. Vandy Brook to know that God can forgive him and that I forgive him too. And I want someone now to come and lead me to Mr. Vandy Brook so I can embrace him and so he can know that my forgiveness is real. The elderly lady slowly made her way across the courtroom toward him. It is reported that as she got closer to him, he passed out. It was more than he could take. The entire courtroom was silent, and it remained silent as people began to realize what this lady had actually done. [00:41:22] She had forgiven him. She had truly followed the way of peace. Finally, the silence was broken. When there in the courtroom, another lady started to sing, Amazing Grace. You know, this is a rather dramatic account. We don't on our own. We're not able to do that. What about our daily going? What about the way I relate to my wife, to my children, and to the neighbor? [00:41:59] I think we're leaving a witness. Allow God this morning to search your heart. Have you forgiven the way that you should? Are you still holding someone hostage? That is a witness that we leave to the world around us if we forgive the way we should. Let's kneel for prayer.