Virtues That Stregnthen the Brotherhood

[00:00:00] This audio sermon is provided by AnabaptistSermons.com and may be freely copied and distributed. You may not sell or edit this sermon. Our prayer is that you would be blessed by this ministry. We wish to each one the grace and the mercy and the blessing of the Lord as we're gathered in his house for worship. I'd like to continue this morning with a message that we started some weeks ago. So, you may call this virtues that strengthen brotherhood. We had called it then transformed relationships. If you would stand with me as we read Psalm 133 in reverence to the word of God. [00:00:44] Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. It is like the precious ointment upon the head that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard, that went down to the skirts of his garments, as the dew of Hermon and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion. For there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life forevermore. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for this scripture. We thank you for your plan. We pray that you would unfold your will to us again this morning, that you would inspire our hearts, that we would seek after you, that we would long to fulfill the purpose that you have made us for. In Jesus' name, Amen. [00:01:35] Now this scripture says, take notice, behold, he says. And then he says further, how good and how pleasant. I think all of us delight to look on things that are beautiful to behold and that are pleasant to experience. He's giving us here a teaching on something that is of that nature. How good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. [00:02:08] We all know that when there is disunity, there is not pleasure. When there is strife, there are some undesirable things that we experience. Now, the other time when we talked about transformed relationships, We noted a few things that I'd just like to review just a bit. One is that good relationships are more than the absence of conflict. [00:02:42] There are people that aren't fighting, but they don't really have a meaningful relationship. When we're talking about brother relationships and when we're talking about brethren dwelling together in unity, It doesn't mean that everybody thinks everything just alike and that nobody is fighting, but we all go our own ways. But it is talking about a relationship, something that is meaningful and valuable. Now, the other time we had looked a bit at the things that cause broken relationships. [00:03:18] I'd like to just remind us of a few things along that line and that is that perhaps more than the broken relationship there is an issue that we need to look at that is more fundamental, more basic than the relationship itself and that is the Bible tells us that when there are broken relationships there are root causes Those causes that we found, and this is not a conclusive list, there may well be other things. [00:03:53] One of those causes usually is, or often is, hatred, lack of love. Another cause is pride. Without pride, how did it say? I can't quote the scripture just now. But it says that without pride there is no disunity, is the idea. A third thing was gossip, loose talk, loose tongues A fourth one is anger, another one is envy, another one is sin that is covered and not dealt with [00:04:27] And another one is selfishness Those are things that create a loss of relationships Now those are rather ugly things if you look at them in themselves They're very clear in scripture that there is nothing godly nor biblical about those kind of issues. So let's consider a lack of relationship in that light. That if a lack of relationship stems from such things, there is something basically wrong when there is a broken relationship. [00:05:04] In fact, Jesus said that if we don't love our brother, we don't love God. Period. Now, coming back to Psalm 133, here he gives us the contrast, the other side of the issue, and that's where we'd like to dwell more. That it is not necessary, it is not meant, neither is it necessary that we live without a good relationship. I have to think of the songwriter's words when he said Lo, what a pleasing sight our brethren that agree [00:05:37] How did he say it? Lo, what a pleasing sight our brethren that agree How blessed are all whose hearts unite in bonds of piety All in their stations move, each performs his part In all the cares of life and love with sympathizing heart formed for the purest joys by one desire possessed one aim, the zeal of all employees to make each other blessed no bliss can equal theirs where such affections meet while praise devout and mingled prayers make their communion sweet tis the same pleasure fills the breast and worlds above where joy like the morning dew distills [00:06:28] and all the air is love. In other words, when there is love and harmony amongst brethren, it's heaven on earth. That's what that last verse is saying. And who wouldn't want to abide in a place where all the air is love? In the scripture, we find a number of things. He says that it is good and it is pleasant. [00:07:02] And as we look at this passage, I don't understand exactly all that is being said about the ointment that was poured on Aaron's head and ran down over his beard and onto his garments. When Aaron was chosen priest and his sons, they were not fitted to perform priestly tasks until they had been anointed. And that anointing oil that they used in those times was scented richly with aromatic scents. [00:07:36] It was good smelling. And so when Aaron and his sons were chosen and anointed to be the priests, they poured the oil and I read somewhere where it says when that oil was poured on them, it wasn't just a few drops. It wasn't like we sometimes anoint with oil for healing, but they poured it on and it ran down over him until the whole thing was a sweet smelling savor. We could at least get from this an illustration that when there are brethren that are pulling together and working together and are joined in heart, that that is a beautiful picture. [00:08:18] It's a pleasant thing and it is also a necessity in order to serve. Service without relationships are at best ineffective. Joseph, a best have a great lack. And then if you read a little further, it talks about the dew distilling or the dew coming down on Mount Hermon and across the mountains of Zion. And the result of that was fruitfulness. [00:08:51] No wonder the scripture says, hereby shall all men know that you're my disciples if you love one another. That is a powerful testimony and I want to say this morning I appreciate the measure of that that we've already experienced with brethren here in the church but the scripture as well would indicate to us that this is something that needs ongoing encouragement and there is room for growth. I'm sure all of us would agree to that. [00:09:24] Another thing he says here, he does not say how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to sometimes have unity, but he says to dwell together in unity. That is an ongoing experience. It is God's intention that that's where we live. I was impressed with the words about the experience of Jonathan and David. One of those examples of men in the Bible that had a relationship. Well, it says like this, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. [00:10:04] Now that sounds to me like a relationship. What does it sound like to you? His soul was knit And the ladies know about knitting more than I do But when I see ladies knitting, things are becoming really intertwined They are connected They are tied together There's a bond there You don't just easily dissolve that thing And that's what it says that Jonathan and David's souls were knit together [00:10:35] and as you read the story you will find you find how that worked itself out in real life now another thing often times today when things don't go well the solution is the human solution is we'll just put distance between the conflictive parties and then things will go better or just don't get too close And that way you won't get into each other's hair so much. [00:11:11] But how do you have a relationship if you're not close? That is not God's standard for relationship, for transformed relationship. So having said that, let us then look again at Romans 12. Repeat those words there in verse 2 where he said, Be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. Have a new way of thinking. And as we look at the rest of that scripture, we read about the body. [00:11:43] How the members all need to function together. Well, it's not hard to understand that when members are dismembered from the body, that there's not a relationship. There has to be connection to have relationship. Distance is not the answer to relationships. But connection is, and that is healthy connection. I'm not going to say this morning that there's never time for temporary separation. We want to be realistic. But it is not God's long-term solution in any case to deal with relationships. [00:12:19] God's method is that we deal with those roots that keep us from having relationships so we can have one. And if there is hatred, we can say all the nice words to each other we like, but unless we deal with the hatred issue, it's just going to be a revolving defeat. And the same thing with envy or pride or jealousy or whatever other root cause there may be. So he is saying that the beginning of relationships is a transformed heart. [00:12:55] A heart that thinks different. A heart that has different inspiration and thinks like God did. Who the Bible says loved when others did not love him. He had a new life. Well, it wasn't new for him. It was true to his nature and character. But it's the kind that he wants to give us. So the foundation, the root of a transformed relationship lies in a transformed heart. A second thing that we could mention is, it is a virtue that builds relationships is a broken heart. [00:13:34] A broken heart. That's a term the Bible uses in different places. A contrite spirit, a contrite heart, a broken heart, a broken spirit. I'm not sure what all those words mean. I looked at them in the original and it uses some pretty conclusive terms when it talks about brokenness. It says crushed, crushed. There's not much left when it's crushed. [00:14:06] But he tells us that that is the way to God's heart. God will not despise that kind of a heart, he says. In John the twelfth chapter, talking about Jesus' death, we come back to this great principle that is referred to often, but it is basic enough, it is necessary enough that it bears repetition time and again, that except the corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone, but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. [00:14:42] and according to that principle I believe it applies in many areas of life applied to transform our relationships it is simply saying that we have a promise here this morning that if we come to a position of dying to self we are laying a good basis to relate to people and it just simply takes that how can two opposing goals Two opposing ideas, two opposing opinions relate together, except there be a broken spirit. [00:15:21] It has been my experience, and I'm sure yours, and all of humanity, that whenever there is opposition and we deal with that difference with force, what happens? As far as I know, force is met with force. It reminds me of a little experience I had many years ago as a young lad in my father's house with another young fellow. [00:15:52] And you know how fellows like to tussle. They like to be kind of macho. And here we were in our little hallway in the house and tussling. And all at once, Ralph just stepped aside. And you know what happened. There was no longer any opposition. But I was planning to get ready to meet force with force. Well, when Ralph stepped aside, you know where I went. [00:16:23] That's kind of the way this thing works. When there is a broken spirit, how do you fight with a broken spirit? If we have a broken heart, it opens the door for relationship. That's a very natural illustration. But there cannot really be a broken spirit to provide a relationship. Or to me it seems like this, that the prodigal was one prime example in the scripture of a broken heart. [00:16:58] To have a broken heart, one needs to get to the place where he sees himself. There is almost never, if ever, a broken relationship that doesn't have two sides. And once the prodigal, I don't know what he said, but if he was typical like men are today, like people are today, he probably said at times, you know, life is so unfair. Here I am. Life isn't going well. People don't like me. And what all might he have said, we don't know. But one day the prodigal saw things as they were. And you know where he was? We know where he was. [00:17:45] But he saw that day why he was where he was. Why was the prodigal in the pig pen? Who sent him there? It wasn't his father. It wasn't his family. He would have said at one time that he didn't. That wasn't his choice. But the reality was he chose to serve a master that put him there. it was his decision that put him in the pig pen [00:18:18] when he saw at last that he was where he was because of who he was he came to himself the Bible says he said I will arise and the thing that he did a part of brokenness is getting up and going home he went and he said I have sinned. I am not worthy. Did that establish relationships? [00:18:53] The beauty of the picture, not, did his father did not wait until he came home. He saw him, the Bible says, a great way off and he ran to meet him. That broken heart opens the door. It develops into relationships. And it doesn't have to be just because we are yet not converted But it can be in everyday routine life The broken heart A corn of wheat that falls into the ground and dies [00:19:25] Springs up into new life But that's not the way the old ego deals with issues A third thing is a forgiving heart Ephesians the fourth chapter Be ye kind one to another Tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you A third virtue that builds relationships is a forgiving heart The example of Joseph, I'd like to read the story of Joseph, part of it in Genesis chapter 45 and then in Genesis 50 [00:19:59] Just a few passages of scripture that speak about the value and about the positive side of forgiveness In Genesis 45 in verse 14 And he fell upon his brother Benjamin's neck and wept and Benjamin wept upon his neck Moreover he kissed all his brethren and wept upon them and after that his brethren talked with him Now there you see a picture of forgiveness [00:20:33] Go back to chapter 50 in the same book in verse 19 And Joseph said unto them, Fear not, they were pleading for mercy. Fear not, he said, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you thought evil against me, but God meant it unto good to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. Now therefore, fear ye not. I will nourish you and your little ones [00:21:05] and he comforted them and spake kindly unto them there is a picture of forgiveness Joseph could have reminded them of all the things that he suffered all the hardships he went through he was deprived of his family relationships he grew up as a young man without knowing the blessings of the home and in that case it was not Joseph's fault it was not his choice it was his brothers but when he forgave them [00:21:35] he forgave them we have a picture here of forgiveness he did not say I'll forgive you but it was unconditional he set them free forgiveness means that we set the other person free forgiveness says I will carry the weight of this relationship I will take responsibility I will set you free I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and whatever else might all go with this. [00:22:07] Another thing, in Matthew the 7th chapter, the first five verses, we find the account of where it says about a man with a moat in his eye and a man with a beam. I'm not sure what a moat is, but a moat seems mighty small in my thinking. And a beam, when I think of a beam, I think of a barn beam. What's the comparison? Hardly anything. Here was this man that had a little moat and somebody was looking at him and was telling him, [00:22:38] that moat there, that moat, what about the moat? Let's deal with the moat. But he had a problem in this, that he had a bad attitude. To me it seems like the beam was his attitude. It wasn't that the moat wasn't cause for concern, But who knows if he even had a moat to begin with. Who knows how it really was. But here was this man dwelling on the moat. Let me tell you this morning, people that have critical attitudes about other people [00:23:11] are saying more about themselves than they are about the other person. I think that's what Jesus was saying. He said, let's get down to business. Get the beam out so you can see. Then you can help somebody get a moat out. But how do you ever see a little moat if you have a beam in your eye? Any idea how you can make an accurate analysis with a bad attitude? When we deal with our attitudes, when we get sanctified attitudes and our hearts reach out to people [00:23:48] and if they have a moat, we'd like to see them free. It's not that we're trying to make them, to convince them that we are right and they are wrong. But we are desiring to see them free. Oh, when a person comes with that kind of an attitude, it helps relationships. It builds relationships. We just cannot force people to have a relationship. But we can live so they want a relationship. and we can live so God can work through us to help provide that relationship. [00:24:25] We need to find the facts before we make conclusions. Just the other day again, I learned that one more time. Seems like I keep learning and learning and have to learn more and more. There were issues that it just seemed like a situation was just a certain way And you began to think, what's wrong with those people? One day the Lord just simply spoke to me in this way in my conscience and said, Is it really true that everybody thinks like this? [00:24:59] Or are we only hearing a little snatch here and a little snatch there that we think everybody's like this? So somebody wrote a letter. And you know, the letter that came back was just a revelation that I guess we were making a mountain out of a molehill. And that's the way it often works. But if a person has a sanctified attitude and we really want to know the truth and we don't want to deal with issues based on partial information that can never make relationships [00:25:30] because the Bible says you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free. Not the imaginations, not the opinions, not what we think is, but truth makes people free. Truth makes relationships, sanctified attitudes Again in Ephesians the fourth chapter And you could read it as well in Colossians the third chapter Kindness is a virtue that builds relationships Being kind We could just leave that there [00:26:02] I'm not sure how to explain kind Just being kind Being nice to each other There are lots of things that we can do to be kind. I'm sure a response from this audience this morning could give us much help in how to exercise kindness. We can give words of encouragement, words of appreciation, words of support. One thing that has been a, well we'll leave that for another one. [00:26:36] There can be deeds of helpfulness. The scripture says, as you have therefore opportunity, do good to all men. Have you ever seen where maybe we hardly knew people, and then something good was done, and all at once you had a relationship? Things happen at our store sometimes that call my attention to this. Yesterday it happened again. When there was an opportunity to just do a little bit of kindness to somebody, All at once you get on to a first name relationship with people that were utter strangers. [00:27:12] How much more among brethren when we seek ways to just bless each other. That builds relationships. It is not a matter of going our own ways and saying it's really nobody else's business. This is me. This is mine. This is what I'm doing. You do your thing. I'll do mine and we'll get along just fine. Oh, I trust that none of us are satisfied with that kind of relationships. That is not the brother relationship that we need in order to help each other on to glory. [00:27:47] But when we have that ambition, that desire to do deeds of kindness and to be kind, when we weep with those that weep and we rejoice with those that rejoice, I appreciate those times when I see that happening. Somebody's hurting. Many of you have given testimonies of how that somebody gives you a call on the phone and they just say, I'm praying for you. And what it does to us, that is empathy. [00:28:19] That is standing in each other's shoes, walking with each other, weeping and rejoicing together. Sometimes if somebody has a good experience, we were just at that point, Not only when things don't go so well, but when they do go well, give each other a call and say, I'm rejoicing with you. It brings closeness to heart. We can do those things for each other, and they really don't cost a whole lot. In fact, they don't cost as much as it does to go our own ways. [00:28:51] We can pray for and with each other. There is this thing of communication, of interaction That's not experienced by people on the sidelines If you feel out of the loop I'd like to encourage this morning That we ask ourselves the question How close am I to the loop? If we're out of the loop, let's get into the loop Let's interact, let's take part [00:29:22] How often? Well, I love brethren meetings for that reason. We get together. There's only one problem I have with our brethren meeting, and that is I've still not come to the place where I can discern what you're thinking. I'd like to hear it verbalized. Maybe if I talked less, you'd talk more. But it is a good thing to express our hearts. Just to open up, to be communicative. and that won't happen if we're way out there sometime. [00:29:56] 1 John 1.7 says, If we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have what? Fellowship one with another. If we walk in the light. Walking in the light means living where you can see things. Where you can see reality. The way they really are. Walking in the light is walking in the truth. Thy word giveth light, the scripture says. [00:30:28] And if we can walk, if we can have this interaction, this communication, doing things together, sharing our hearts, that really means making ourselves vulnerable sometimes. You know why some people don't share? It's just like a brother on the AMA board said many years ago. Well, one day I said, well, why doesn't anybody have anything to say, but then when somebody finally says something, then everybody can tell. Well, he said, it's safer not to be first. [00:31:01] You kind of take a risk. And it takes, we need to be vulnerable. Just the other evening at the Michiana ministers meeting, a brother did something that was a blessing, at least to me, I think it was to all of us. When at about the end of the meeting he just said, Brethren, sometimes I just get tired of leading out. Then he said how that he deals with that and how that he gets back on top. [00:31:35] But do you know what that did? He made himself vulnerable. We could all have thought, well, what's wrong with you? but what really happened is some other people shared how they get tired too and it drew us together if we can be communicative if we make ourselves vulnerable we'll take the risk in other words to share what's in our heart often times we're afraid to share what's in our heart [00:32:05] because of what people might think but it could very well be the channel by which God brings relationships relationships to fruitfulness if we just share our hearts. And many people do that, have learned the blessing of that. I'm sure that it's always been a blessing. Sometimes we are misunderstood. Sometimes we suffer some bad consequences. Along with the communication issue, we need to be trustworthy. [00:32:39] We ought not to take advantage or let somebody down, but to take their vulnerability, their pain, and then stand with them. Not to broadcast it, but to build them up. It builds relationship. One more thing I'd like to say, and that is what the prophet Amos said when he said, Can two walk together except they be agreed? If we seek to be in harmony. [00:33:12] Now it doesn't mean I don't believe that everybody is always going to think everything alike. But we have a common goal. We have a common purpose. And we take our differences and we blend them together to reach that goal. Then two people are agreed. We're going to glory. We're not going the way of the world. We're going. and when we share our hearts together and we see that our brother who we might have seen make a mistake or do something that he shouldn't have done even [00:33:43] but when we hear his heart and we see that we're together in our goals and in our commitment to each other then you can walk together. Can two walk together except they be agreed? Not very well. Can two be together without walking together? Can two be agreed without walking together? Well, maybe, in some cases. But it is a basis for developing or strengthening fellowship. [00:34:19] I'd like to read 1 Peter 3, verses 8 through 11. Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another. Love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous. not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing but contrary wise blessing knowing that you are there unto called that you should inherit a blessing for he that will love life and see good days let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak no guile.